Bitdefender leaves you be and never bugs you about money except maybe to mention when sub will be renewed. I had Avast before it and it was constantly trying to sell me new things even when I was a paid subscriber already, Avast charges for new features, Bitdefender just adds them for no extra cost.
Yes, what sites you visit and how you use PC does influence what protections you need. I never know where I will end up answering questions on here so I prefer to be over protected. IT can be troubling when an add on blocks parts of websites you need to use to answer questions, the bitdefender browser add on has a problem with Asus motherboard driver lists.
There is too much, I know of one person who had 7 AV installed.... how to slow PC down to a stop and have AV thinking each other is a virus.
Kaspersky Free does give me a reminder about it's available VPN service once a week or so....(I can live with it!)
I've used Defender for 12-15 months or so previously, with no ill effects, but, then I don't download porn. software cracks, 'free video players', free movies, free MS Office, etc... (amazing how little trouble one can have if one stays out of crappy infection-prone places...)
Bitdefender may have mentioned VPN in an email when it was released, and its likely advertised on their website but unless you open the dashboard you would never know they included the option. And its only after you actually use the free portion that they mention the paid version which offers more space.
I used defender for about 6 months this year. Its usage is much better now, I used to think it ran scans too often, but that is no longer case. Just like Bitdefender, it would only run a full system scan if I requested it. It wasn't my only protection though, I was running malwarebytes and Ublock Origin on every browser.
Best protection you can have is just knowing what sites to trust and which not to. All the protections in world cannot protect user if he ignores them.