CHEEZball, there is no one who can tell you how to live, and there is no one single way to gain happyness. I have found my way to be happy, and I am glad. (its more like Serenity, then happiness...)
If you ever find yourself becoming too close to your parents, then AA will always be there for you. Try Sending your mother a Big Book... Maybe it will help. Probably wont do something right away... she most likely will get angry and throw it away... Maybe she will read it, then throw it away... Maybe she will keep it and use it to keep her beer from marking the table.
But sometimes I hear people who have had family members send them books, and they responded to any of the above mentioned ways. They now acknowledged that it was one of thoose things that planted a seed... and years later that seed grew...
I will at least include your mother, father and you in my prayers... I cant say if it will do any good, though it cant hurt
God seems to do what he wants, and when we ask him for something he often gives it to us. Sometimes we ask him for something and he gives it to us, then we find out we really didnt want it and that it becomes a major burden. hehehehe... Or sometimes he has better and bigger plans...
I always said, if I pray every night for a Great Car. I will always find myself disapointed in the morning when its not there. But if I pray for something unselfish, and work hard at my role in life, then that car has a very good chance at showing up...
I usually only pray only for others, and to ask him for strength to do his will... I find that most of the time I dont know what his will is, so I try my best, and ask him to help me...
BTW, I dont really want a great car... Just a place to hang my hat, a few AA meetings, a TV, internet access, friends, and a computer. Guess god has given me everything I ever wanted...
My Story
College, parties, Drinking, Pot, acid, many other drugs... Great time...
Got out of school, got a job... wasnt really an addict at this time... at least I didnt have much consiquences from it...
Lost my job, had a bitch for a Girl Friend... Started drinking and drugging every day, morning to night... Eventually the bitch left, and I was all alone...
I ended up in a day treatment program... My life got so good... The Day treatment program ended after a year, and I graduated with a year of sobriety. I didnt go to meetings... and I didnt have any reminder of who I was and where I came from. I forgot about improving myself... 4 months later I went out drinking again...
I was out drinking and drugging for about 1/2 year... started slowly, then quickly went full steam...
Then I hit a real rock bottom... Im not talking about small depression, ohh woo is me... I lost my mind... I almost killed someone with a hammer... I was suicidal and homicidal... I just didnt Care about anything... I would be in nasty neighborhoods, and people would come up to rob me... and I would say F-U... They point a gun to my head, and I told them to shoot, cause your not getting a penny from me... I told them to never f#@$ with a man who has nothing to loose! The man ran away. Im not a big guy either
Somehow I ended up in another Noris Clinic (inpatient rehab)... Probably having to do with a suicide attempt... but who knows... hehe
I would never have thought that I would be talking about god... I hated God... I listened to NIN and said F-U God... Thats if I even acknowledged that I beleived in him... I hated people of religion, always killing each other, in the name of God.
There was so many reasons why I didnt accept god into my life...
I came out of that 4 weeks of rehab willing to do ANYTHING. I was told to go to AA, and that AA works the best for staying sober... I went to AA, and they told me to pray, get a home group, get a sponser, do service work, and go to meetings... I did it all...
When I prayed I didnt even know who I was praying too... I didnt even pray to a god, just prayed cause they told me too... If they told me to Jump, I would have asked "How high?"...
I saw they accepted god, and that they where happy. So I worked hard at accepting god into my life... The Big Book and the Twelve and Twelve helped allot... and hearing people talk about god, and beign told to pray, etc... Eventually I found myself with a profound beleif...
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I mention this, because I am an intellectual, and I use to find myself caught in phylosophical discussions... and these discussions would go no where but in circles...
Some questions had scientific explinations, but it simply didnt explain the basics... Why should I live? What is the purpose of Life? What do I want to do with my life? etc...
I could debates these thing with you for years, and unless someone mentions god, these debates will continue to go around in circle... See you cant argue with the answer.
Why should I live? Cause of God...
What is the purpose of Life? To do my best, which my god defines...
What do I do with my Life? What ever god gives me the ability to do, I will do to the best of my ability.
Now we can have a discussion if god exists, and cound debate it for years... but no one knows... Just got to beleive or not to...
I also find it interesting that the greatest physicist's in the past and present, all beleive in god, and are/or where searching for the way in which he works.
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I didnt spend the large amount of time I did on the other writings... Im tired... so please dont pick it appart to much
Mike
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