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dunklegend

dunklegend

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I heard you live in Australia.
I am thinking of moving from my city (and from my country too), is it too difficult to immigrate to Australia legally?
 
randomizer

randomizer

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I think you need to pass some history test, but I'm not sure about that one. I know it was on the agenda but I don't know if it was ever legislated. Our history is only 300 years or so, and most of the stuff is pretty much common Aussie knowledge that you can pick up on wikipedia. Two things: 1901 and Don Bradman. That should get you half way there if the test exists :lol:

Oh yea, and leave your guns behind.
 
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Illustrious
Jun 17, 2006
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Pretty sure Randomizer arrived there on a wooden ship with Cook. He stole the land from the Aborigines. That theft dates back 400 years or more. Word is, that's how he got his i7 too.
 
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Illustrious
Jun 17, 2006
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Related information you should know.

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.

IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.

IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET A JOB, A DRIVERS LICENSE, SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION, FREE HEALTH CARE, A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON AND IN MANY INSTANCES YOU CAN VOTE.
 
tecmo34

tecmo34

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You could move to France, take over the Gov by saying BOO!!, than after you have been convert to their ways, run back to the US when Sweeden threatens a snowball fight. :)

I think that should work for you.

 
dunklegend

dunklegend

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And which city do you recommend?
Which one is better for living?
Which one has more employment opportunities?
 
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Illustrious
Jun 17, 2006
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On a more serious note, this is not funny.

Two buddies are getting very drunk at a bar when Boudreaux suddenly throws up all over himself. "Oh, no. Now Clotile will kill me!" Thib says, "Don't worry, pal, Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket, tell Clotile that someone threw up on you and gave you $20 for the dry cleaning bill.” So they stay for another couple of hours and got even drunker.

Eventually Boudreaux rolls home and his wife starts to give him a bad time. "You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!"
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, Boudreaux says, "Now winaminit… I can e'splain everything! Itsh not what you think. I only had a couple drinks. But this other guy got sick on me ... he'd had one too many and he just couldn't hold his liquor. He said he was very sorry an' gave me $20 for the cleaning bill!"

Clotile looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is $40."

"Oh, yeah. I almos' forgot… He sh!t in my pants, too!"
 
JAYDEEJOHN

JAYDEEJOHN

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Aug 23, 2006
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Thibideaux : Fresh cajun roadkill, you walk down da road, looking for roadkill on the way to the store, you place your markers next to the roadkill
Bodreaux: If youre going to da store, it wont befresh, you stupid cajun
Thibideaux: Ahh, thats where youre wrong, as you only pickup the unmarked ones on the way back
 
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Illustrious
Jun 17, 2006
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This is not funny.

Barack Obama was looking for a call girl.


He found three such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brunette and a
redhead.

To the blonde he said,


'I am the President of the United States.Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?'


She replied, $200.'


To the brunette he asked the same question.


Her reply was $100.


He then asked the redhead...

Her reply was,

'Mr. President, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes, my pants
as low as my wages,get that thing of yours as hard as the times we are living in, and keep it rising like the price of gas, keep me warmer than it is in my apartment and screw me the way you have retirees, then it isn't going to cost you a damn cent !'
 
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Illustrious
Jun 17, 2006
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ROFL at Clinton jokes. Even funnier are the current polls stating 44% of voters who voted for Obie last fall would rather have Bush as president today. This is not funny.

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perked up and said, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'

'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I am celebrating. '

'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating, ' said the woman.

''What a coincidence! ' said the farmer.

As they clinked glasses he added, 'What are you celebrating? '

'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'

'What a coincidence! ' said the man.

'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'

'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?'

'I used a different c0ck,' he replied.

The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, 'What a coincidence' .
 
randomizer

randomizer

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Jul 24, 2006
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Do you like hot, humid or both? Any city up the east coast has decent employment opportunities, but I think Sydney is getting a bit overcrowded. You certainly won't find an affordable place of residence in the CBD if that's what you're after. $A 1500/week is about minimum for rent :lol:
 
tecmo34

tecmo34

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More Common Aussie Knowledge...
1) Most celebrated day in it's history... Nicole Kidman kicks Tom Cruise out of the country.
2) Sadiest day in it's history... Russel Crowe beats a hotel worker with a phone, after having won an Oscar the year before.

:D :lol:
 
dunklegend

dunklegend

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I've never lived in a humid weather, but I guess it doesn't matter.
I would like a safe place with plenty of work.
Why are the rents so high? :eek:
I pay a mortgage of a little less than $1000 US dollars a month.
 
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