Grandparents Going Crazy

[CallMeMints]

Alright Tom's Hardware, I've come across an interesting situation. Over the Summer, I worked for two months and for another month I waited for the parts to build a "pretty alright" computer capable of doing that good editing stuff. Of course, you can't edit without content, but I'd hate to use that as an excuse, so I'll just be honest.

I've been gaming a lot on it for this first semester of high school and only passed my classes because I aced my final exams. While I know when its time to give it a break, my grandparents finally lost their **** saying that I'm gonna become retarted and won't make any good of myself.

Really, I've been waiting for good enough hardware to start editing videos on YouTube to see how far I can go. My first video isn't edited at all and has crappy audio. Using this as a starting point, I can learn to improve. I'd hate to use this as an excuse because I'll still be gaming, but just learning how to edit well could be a good skill to bring to college or my Video Editing class. Why learn about editing if I can't apply it?

The alternative to being at my desk being more productive than last semester is them banning me from using the computer entirely and me laying in my bed all night after school feeling pathetic. I know some would say "They're just giving you time to improve and get your work done." However, I don't think making me abandon the only thing I really have to show off at this point is a bit extreme. Of course I was irresponsible with it, but I'm certain I can improve. At least when I use the computer I'll feel more in control of things.

Their real reasoning behind their ban is this:

1) I still eat in that room even when my grandpa said not to. I have still snuck Ritz packets in there, but I can take care of it now. It's nothing a good talk over can't prevent. That's another thing too. My grandparents never really warned me of this. They just told me once and when I messed up, they didn't remind me, they just kept quiet until they decided to dish out the ultimate punishment.

2) the computer will rot my brain. Am I being immature or is being on there and having a good ego better than laying in bed feeling lame? At this point, I know I can't afford to **** up, so I can sit at my desk to get my work done with that in mind then go on to enjoy my free time.

3) I don't greet them anymore as I walk past them on multiple occasions everyday. This one I really don't understand, so I'll just tell them that's a silly reason.

4) I sleepy with clothes on. While I actually haven't done this for 3 nights prior to my grandpa using it as an excuse, I was guilty of it. I was just too tired which is disgusting, I know.

I don't know how to explain to these people that computer usage is normal in society now. We run on computers. People use them for long periods of time. Why let me go through the trouble of building one if I can't use it now? They even threatened to break it if I use it again and that really scares me. That's the only thing I've dedicated myself to and while I don't feel too proud saying that, at least it's something. People have their hobbies, yeah? The schoolyard of their day has become the internet of mine.

If you've gotten this far, thank you. I'm really at a loss at what to do and just don't think I can go on (haha). Am I being immature? Dramatic? What would you do? Do I challenge my superiors who think that constant yelling and smack talking will make me better? They really only seem to enjoy when I'm up to talk about me.

I know there are pros and cons to every situation, but my overused and exaggerated excuse is that I'll earn more on the computer than being brain dead in bed. Is that much not true?

<Mod edited watch the language>

 

[DSzymborski]

If you're just barely passing classes and this dependent on your PC, to the extent that you're going on a very long, detailed rant about your PC being taken away to strangers on a technical PC forum, I think there's a very good argument you need some serious time away from it. You're at an age at which you need to be expanding your social skills and even in today's world, that's a lot more than sitting at the computer.

You say yourself that's "the only thing [you've] dedicated [yourself] to," and that strikes me as a very serious problem and while I have no idea if your grandparents went about it the right way, but just from this post, I suspect getting away from your PC will do you a lot of good. If the alternative to being on your computer is "laying in be feeling lame," it's long past time you broaden your horizons.
<mod edited watch the language>

 

[CallMeMints]

Thanks for going through the trouble of posting a reply even though you may be very disappointed in me. However, I don't think classes are a problem anymore. Last semester I was lazy and didn't think much of public high school. I've learned to change my mindset and start putting in some effort to get those easy grades.

I did practice being social a lot my past two years at a good old place called NMMI. While I'm not as great in that area as I could be, I'm certain I'm a lot better off than most.

Researching how to build a computer and reaching that goal by working and learning isn't so bad I thought. I don't have anything to dedicate myself to anymore. This is not the best of places to be doing amazing things. I am focusing on starting a boxing club for my high school and academics should be a concern, but I've learned that non AP classes don't require as much devotion as these tasks. It's just a matter of getting it done.

While there's really nothing to do in this town, I honestly feel that trying to learn some things on my computer will be better than laying in bed. Even if I am lucky enough to get out and do things, they're not vital tasks in life I'll be attending to.

I hope we can reach a compromise here because I'm really glad someone actually answered.

Small edit**
Work keeps me busy for most of my week, so I can't participate in most school activities. With the coming of the new queselupa next month, I'll only be more busy.

 

[bignastyid]

Both of you need to watch it with the profanity or I will start handing out bans. This is a family friendly site and the use of profanity is against the forum rules.

 

[DSzymborski]

Both of you need to watch it with the profanity or I will start handing out bans. This is a family friendly site and the use of profanity is against the forum rules.

My apologies, I was just repeating the exact quote and I didn't think to edit out the curse.

(Though totally my fault, I'm a journalist and should -- and hopefully, usually -- know better)

 

[Solandri]

You sound like you're at the age where you think you know it all, when you really don't. I can sort of empathize with you. I was really into computers when I was in high school (1980s), spending nearly as much time on them as you seem to be. My parents didn't really understand computers and strongly discouraged it, so I listened to them and went into engineering instead. Stuck with it even though my college comp sci prof invited me to his office and basically begged me to switch majors because of how good I was at programming. In retrospect, that was probably a mistake and I should've switched to comp sci. So I do agree with you that your grandparents probably don't really understand computers and how they're changing society.

However, that doesn't mean they're wrong. You need to find balance in your life.

1) Staying on the computer so much that you eat there and are so exhausted that you can't even change into PJs to go to sleep is not normal nor healthy. If you are doing these things, I'd say you've long since crossed the point of it being a hobby, and are deep into it being an obsession.

2) Becoming a YouTube star is the Hollywood dream of the 2000s. Just like with Hollywood, a very tiny portion of people who try to make a career of it actually succeed. The rest of them end up working as burger flippers or waitresses the rest of their lives because they bet everything on succeeding at becoming a star. You need to have a backup plan in case this YouTube thing doesn't pan out, and that means learning everything you can while you're in school. Picking up skills that are more useful than flipping burgers and taking orders, and aren't video editing.

3) Video editing and other artistic jobs aren't exactly things where you can succeed just by working hard at them. You have to have talent if you want to do more than just scrape by. You'll find out pretty quickly whether or not you have talent. Poor equipment is not an impediment - if you have talent it will shine through and you will succeed, even if you have crappy equipment.

4a) You're still thinking of finances like a child - save up enough money to buy what you want (a computer), then quit earning money after you get it. The adult world doesn't work like that. Once you're living on your own, food and housing aren't things you pay for once and you're done with it. You have to keep paying for them every month for the rest of your life. If you don't learn useful skills beyond flipping burgers and taking orders, the money you earn will barely be able to pay for food and housing. You may own a computer, but you're not gonna have time to do video editing on it because you're going to be spending all your time working lousy jobs just to earn enough money to keep a roof over your head and food in your stomach.

4b) Related to (4a) - your grandparents are giving you free room and board. Be thankful and respectful to them for that. If they ask you not to eat at the computer, don't eat at the computer. Greet them when you see them - it is common courtesy to the people basically paying all your living expenses. If they ask you to change to pajamas before sleeping, do it. Their house, their rules. You get to live by your rules when you're living in and paying for your own house and paying for and eating your own food.

I don't want to discourage you from pursing success with YouTube videos. One of my childhood friends is one of YouTube's top 100 earners and makes several million dollars a year in revenue. But she worked hard at a career in children's education before this. Her YouTube success was actually an accident - she posted a video hoping a TV station would see it and hire her. The video was popular enough it gave her enough revenue to produce a second video, and so on. If you have talent and you happen to find/stumble upon an untapped market, you will succeed.

But if you don't plan for a backup career and the video thing doesn't work out, when you're 40 you're going to be cursing how stupid you were as a kid. Find balance in your life - spend some of your time on things you like to do, some of it on things you might not like but older, wiser people are telling you are important. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. The people who bet everything on one career choice and succeed are the exception, and you shouldn't be hoping to follow their example. Nobody wants to flip burgers or be a waitress for life. They do it because that's all they're capable of doing when their primary career choice didn't work out.

P.S. AP courses aren't there to make your high school life more difficult. They're to make your college life easier by letting you get rid of required courses while you're still in high school, freeing you up to take more advanced college courses in your field of interest. If you plan to go to college and are capable of passing the AP courses and tests, you should be taking them. Don't skip them just to make high school easier. High school is free. College costs money. So each AP course you take and pass is saving you money at college.

P.P.S. I was a straight A student and everything was really easy for me in high school and college. That's actually made it harder for me as an adult. I never had to learned self-discipline in school because it was so easy for me. Like you, I tend to give up doing something if I find it boring or don't enjoy it. Forcing yourself to learn and complete things you don't enjoy isn't just about learning those things. It's about teaching yourself self-discipline so you can force yourself to do and finish those tasks you find boring. Looking back, I'd say that's actually the most important skill you can learn at your age, not the actual school lessons. Forcing yourself to slog through things you may not enjoy doing, but need to be done.

 

[CallMeMints]

I don't know how to reply directly but I apologize Bignastyid. I can't 100% guarantee it won't happen again, but I'll try my best to see that it doesn't.

Solandri
Thanks for opening my eyes and giving me such an elaborate reply. I won't argue and just take it to heart because I appreciate the criticism. I'll just try to improve, but I took AP classes for two years and I've just had it to be honest. I understand the self discipline thing but I'll just try my best in my studies anyway. I'll give the computer a break though and just see what changes. I do enjoy reading too.

HOWEVER, I feel a little embarrassed that you think I want to become YouTube famous, but I blame my sleepy replies. I just want to put out videos for the sake of practicing editing and such. I know how rare it is to reach that level. I like how you mentioned its a talent too. I've tried lots of different things and I just don't know what I'm here for. Am I too young to be figuring that out?

Also, mentioning my computer use as addiction really helps me realize that I'm just being hateful to my grandparents. No maybe here. I'm gonna try and change my crappy attitude and really improve myself. I hate how it takes a PC forum to bring me to this realization, but everything happens for a reason, is that right?

I've gotta go out to school now but thank you! You've really opened my eyes and I don't want to become the typical teen that I tend to hate. That is, the "I'm gonna become YouTube famous" guy.

 

[Solandri]

I like how you mentioned its a talent too. I've tried lots of different things and I just don't know what I'm here for. Am I too young to be figuring that out?

You're the perfect age to be figuring that out. In fact the entire way we've set up public education is to give you a chance to figure that out. School is free, and they make you take lots of different courses so everyone has a chance to discover what they like. By your second year in college, you'll be expected to pick a major. You have until then to decide what it is you want to do. Ideally you'll have some idea by your junior year in high school, so you can select which colleges you'll apply to. But a lot of people don't figure it out until they get into college. (If you finish college and still don't know, then you're in trouble.)

That's why K-12 schooling is free, and your parents pay for your living expenses until you're 18 (and sometimes beyond). It's all to give you the freedom to explore different things to find what you like and are good at. Don't waste the opportunity by fixating on just the first thing stumble upon which you find you enjoy. Try sampling a little bit of everything at the buffet before deciding, don't just fill up your plate with the first thing you find that you like.

Just bear in mind that unless you're lucky, to be successful at something requires:

1. You be good at it (talent goes a long way).
2. You either enjoy doing it, or have the self-discipline to force yourself to do it even though it bores you.
3. It be something that has enough demand that the jobs in the field pay well.

A lot of parents only emphasize (1) and (2) - that you should find something you enjoy doing and are good at, and try to make a career of it. Unfortunately, that's the attitude which leads a lot of kids into getting "useless" art and French literature degrees. The pay you'll receive in your chosen field depends on (3) - how valuable what you're doing is to someone else. There isn't much demand for jobs in French literature, and way too many people try to make a career of art so it doesn't pay much. If you enjoy those things, that's great. But you may have to relegate them to just a hobby, and use some other skill you have as your career choice. (The one French lit major I know works as a translator. Being fluent in both French and English turned out to be more valuable than knowing French literature.)

The easier something is, the more people there are who want to/are able to do it, so the less it pays. That's why flipping burgers and waitressing pay so little, while garbage collectors make as much money as mid-level engineers. It's an easy job, but very few people want to do it because of the smell. Engineering, math, and science jobs pay a lot because they're difficult and require a lot of talent. Medical and Legal jobs pay a lot because they require a lot of learning and there are major consequences if you screw up (you can lose your license to practice in those fields). Management jobs pay even more because while these other jobs are hard, the things you have to learn are all set in stone and just require you to learn them once. Management requires dealing with people, and each person is different so you have to learn how to mange each person from scratch.

 

[USAFRet]

I've been gaming a lot on it for this first semester of high school

Just remember this:
Not all 'grandparents' are clueless old people with no idea about modern computers and gaming. You're about a year older than my eldest granddaughter....:lol:

 

[hang-the-9]

My 16 yr old acts pretty much the same way you described, in his room all day on the computer and xbox gaming or editing video, brings up food, does not keep room very clean, etc... A big bonus in your case is that you can describe what is going on very well as well as do so pretty neutrally without making it sound like you are in the right. Pretty much everyone is stuck to some screen these days, it's not good, even if everyone is doing it. Keeping things in order and clean, reading ahead in texbooks, doing outside learning (past how to get past a boss in a game) is important when you are older. No-one wants to be around a slob that does not do his part of the job, and if you extend how you are acting at home to how it would be like in a work environment, you will see what should be changed.