A good low pass x-over frequency for subs is anywhere between 60 and 100 Hz. You may actually want to change it occasionally, corresponding to whatever you're listening to. If you want to utilize the sub more for movies, set it around 100. If you're listening to music and want more of a tight thunderous bass drum, set it to 60. As you increase the sub's frequency you'll probably notice that its level needs lowered, so that it isn't overpowering the other mids in the system.
You don't really need to worry much about setting a high pass frequency for the other speakers, as their internal passive x-overs will protect them from the frequencies they're not meant to handle.
One exception to this would be if you notice an unpleasant tone near the lower end of their frequency range, then you may want to increase the high pass cut off a bit.
What you don't want, is a large gap between the low and the high cutoff points, which leaves you with an incomplete reproduction of sound. If there are woofers in the front speakers robust enough to handle upper sub frequencies, then it's not an issue.
This is also where crossover slopes come into play, as they determine the steepness of how quickly the level of the cutoff frequency attenuates. I usually like to stick with the 12 db per octave slope, for high pass especially.
As for tuning the sub to the room, it doesn't have to be too technical.
Try moving it around the room, hearing and feeling what is best, relative to where you often sit.
If it isn't a bottom mounted driver or if it has its port on one of the sides, turning it in varying degrees will also affect the experience. Experiment with it.