Windows 8 does not come with the gpedit or secpol tools. Those only exist in Windows 8 Pro and Windows 8.1 Pro.
And I know I'm arguing semantics here, but there is no such thing as Windows 8 Home edition. It's simply Windows 8, or Windows 8 Pro (same for Windows 8.1).
That said, I'll have to continue hunting around for another solution, as I don't yet know of another way to force Windows to find and run the install for the .Net Framework 3.5. I just hope this won't involve a format (or at least use of the Refresh feature).
Edit: I am setting up a VM of Windows 8 now to test.