I have often experienced massive lag on (windowed) full screen games, too. I also have two screens running at different refresh rates.
I have figured out how to avoid it most of the times, by making sure I have no background windows opened on the active game display. Move everything over to the secondary display first. Some things even messes the frame rate up when running on the second screen. You'll basically have to trial and error that yourself. Root causes amongst things I usually use(d) are Sky Now TV, Tidal, most other media players protecting IP, Chrome, plus a host of other things. I think, it's safe to say anything trying to control frame rate for any reason can cause (windowed) full screen games to stutter massively. Issues related to music players are obviously easy to work around by simply minimizing them but others aren't as easy, for instance Now TV. It's not all protected media that causes this. For instance, I have no issues with Netflix, Amazon Prime, Eurosport Player or Spotify. Hence my suggestion you'll have to try closing or minimising the various things you have running.
I've also had issues with screen recorders like OBS and the ones built in to Windows and graphics drivers. Make sure all of those, that you don't use, are closed, disabled or uninstalled.
Another workaround is to have both screens run at the same refresh rate. In your case, lower the primary down to 60 Hz when gaming. That's obviously a rather big "penalty" as you'll lose all the fun from having a high refresh-rate display.