Zeekfu

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I was perusing the vast wealth of knowledge that is the Tom’s Hardware website when I came across this. One of the most unusual thing I have ever seen on a comuter review site:
<A HREF="http://www6.tomshardware.com/howto/20040607/miditower-01.html" target="_new">http://www6.tomshardware.com/howto/20040607/miditower-01.html</A>

Did anyone else find this slightly unusual, a bit whimsical and perhaps even a little disturbing?
I mean with a name like "Siggy", I am sure the guy is a little off right from the start but I wonder if he has been messing with some “funky coldmedina” or something? :>)
 

Zeekfu

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So anyway, I proceeded to put together my new system. I carefully followed the helpful guides at the most helpful and honorable Tom’s hardware site. However when I got everything together and hit power it didn’t work. Now I am getting pi**ed. I see the power supply is working . The simple switch from my new case appears to be working as well. I remove the motherboard and make sure I haven’t inadvertently placed a brass standoff out of place where it might be grounding out the motherboard. I double-check the connections to the motherboard power supply. I also check the cpu fan connection and verify it is working. So all that leaves are my cd-rom, floppy and hdd. I double-check all my power supply to cucumber connections and verify that they are snuggly placed. I also check my interface cables, which also seem snuggly placed. Well obviously I must have a bad component somewhere. Since I can’t even get my cucumber cd-rom drive to open to put in my os cd to load it I figure I will start there. No matter what I do I can’t get the drive bay to open. I switch connections to see if I have perhaps a bad molex plug on the power supply. After shifting power supplies I still can’t get the danged thing to work. I try rma ing the motherboard and after a two-week wait I slap in the new motherboard but still nothing. I even try hooking up a different cuke but it still won’t work. So now I am thinking maybe it is the floppy. I go through the same careful procedure with that drive. Now I am realizing I am not even sure how to put the floppy in this cuke. It was oem at the fruit stand and didn’t come with any instructions either. Ok well, I am thinking, I’ll deal with that issue later. I just want to get this f-ing computer going for now. I try switching my hdd around. I am thinking now maybe it is the raid array. Then it suddenly dawned on me…maybe these are sata cucumbers and not ata? Has anyone had this problem before? I am really clueless. I bought these hdd cukes oem at the same fruit stand. The guy said they would work too, I should have known better. Now I am just really confused about the whole thing. What do you guys think it is? Should I rma that board again? I am sure that is what it is. I bet it is a bad raid controller.
 

Zeekfu

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Update: I figured it out. Silly me I forgot to put any memory sticks in. Sorry for the inconvenience to anyone that may have posted some helpful advice. Now I just have to wait till the fruit stand opens in the morning.
 

Zeekfu

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Ok I got the memory but it won’t seem to fit in the slots all the way. It kind of sticks over a bit. I couldn’t center it either because it was hitting the top of the case. I think I got the wrong memory for my mobo. I had to shift it down a bit in order to get it to work. The motherboard maker designed the board poorly too as I can only get one cucumber dimm in a slot. I guess I’ll have to rma it yet again, these motherboard manufacturers need to get their act together. I guess I will have to take it back and get one 1gb stick instead of these two matched 512 cukes unless I want to wait another two weeks for these guys to send me yet another mobo, *yawn*.
 

Zeekfu

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Ok. Now I am pissed. I tried to rma the memory but the guy at the fruit stand game me a really hard time about it. Finally, I was like you need to stand behind your produce dude. But I guess that means I am going to have to break down and rma this motherboard again-dang that is another two weeks.
 

Zeekfu

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Another update: Well my motherboard vender wouldn’t take the mobo back this time. They said it had cucumber seeds in the dimm slots. I told them, “Well what do you expect the stupid thing is poorly designed and executed, now send me another board. I said yes they said no…this went on for a while finally I was like you know what…you can just take the mobo and shove it where the sun don’t shine cause I saw on Tom’s hardware how to do this and I know I am right. So they hung up..which kind of pi**ed me off. Is it just me or are people all around just not standing behind their product anymore? … I still think it is the raid controller though. What do you guys think?
 

Zeekfu

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So….now I have all this hardware (and cucumbers) and I still don’t have my new computer working. So I took the cover off of my old comp and took a look inside just to see if perhaps I didn’t have something hooked up correctly. (But of course I know I did because I read Tom’s hardware and I know what I am doing) And of course, as usual, I am right. I don’t see that this old computer has anything better going on than what I got, cept of course I got these new cucumber drives that my buddy Siggy recommended.
 

Zeekfu

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I still haven’t figured out what is wrong yet. Has anyone had any problems with a similar configuration?:
-Asus p4c800-e deluxe (I think this is the main problem….Still…./sigh
-Athlon 64 fx-53 cpu---It wouldn’t fit *exactly* right on this stupid mobo so I had to duct tape it on. At one point I thought this might be my problem so I took off the duct tape and used electrical tape instead but it still didn’t work. And of course I am never wrong anyway.
-“hong kong phuey” generic white box case with “super duper” 135 watt ps that I found in a dumpster ( I spent a lot on the cpu so I figured that I could save some $ on this ps/case combo—after all it is only a power supply, right?
-52x cd rom “cuke drive”
-floppy drive (also a cuke)
-2 10,000-rpm raptor cuke drives in raid 0 (I still think it may be the raid controller on that stupid mobo)
-oh yea and 1 512 gig of pc 3200 c2 (that’s cucumber 2 for all you n00bs out there)
 

Zeekfu

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Yet another update: Ok I figured it out… a newbie mistake on my part. I read this article …
<A HREF="http://forumz.tomshardware.com/hardware/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=181307#181307" target="_new">here</A>

Clearly, I need some milk in my case to make it work. I think I might have a conflict though. I think I have a 32-oz mobo with a 8oz processor. But the 8-oz processor goes to the refrigerator more. So I moved my refrigerator closer to the computer /huff-puff …that sucker was heavy as crap.
Ok so now all I got to do is go to the market and get some milk,….. and some glasses, and …..maybe some cookies too. Also, a latter poster on that same thread said something about hot dogs. Anyone know anything about this and can verify it for me?
 

Zeekfu

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Ok I am back. Well I went ahead and got some hot dogs just in case that other poster later in that thread knew what he was talking about. He said something about how a guy wrote a book on building computers and it was on page 65 or something. I dunno Tom’s didn’t say anything about hot dogs. I am sure Siggy woulda clued us in on that one if it were important…but just in case. Ok well I got to cook the hot dogs—I’ll let you guys know how it goes in a few…
 

Zeekfu

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Ok, I got the hotdogs cooked and in place in the computer. I didn’t buy any buns though, you guys think this was a mistake? I wasn’t sure about which glass of milk to use so I just put both in there. If that guy who posted that stuff about the milk reads this could you let me know what you think? I just put a glass of each in and the hot dogs of course, and I put some cookies in too, just in case. I hope Santa Clause doesn’t think they are for him and eat this stuff, cause then I would be pi**ed. I know you guys are going to think I am an idiot to deal with that guy again but on the way back from the store I stopped at the fruit stand and bought another stick of ddr 3200 c 2 (that stands for cucumber 2-just in case any n00bs didn’t read the previous explanation) Hey, I am willing to share my expertise.
 

Zeekfu

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Yet another update:
Ok so I pooled all my lunchmoney for the month and also pawned my dad’s watch (he never uses it-it’s a gold pocket watch his grand dad gave him—that thing is old as the hills—who in this modern day and age would want a pocket watch anyway??? Hello it is the 19th century people—they learned how to make wrist straps for watches like at least 5 years ago, right? Anyway, I pawned the gold watch, and also a bunch of really old coins my dad had. Heck he never spends em they just sit there in plastic—what is the point in that??? And besides they are old, get some new stuff with em for crying out loud,…like my case. Also, I found some $20 bills too. They didn’t quite look like real money though…. They said they were “gold” notes or something silly like that. The guy at the pawnshop was real helpful though when I asked him about em. He said if I wanted he would trade me some new $20 bills for em. I was like great—I was thinking, this guy I really gullible, lol—these bills are waaaauy old and they look funny too. So after I sold all this stuff, cashed in my piggy bank, savings bonds from my grandparents, the months allowance, and the lunchmoney for the month (good thing I bought those hot dogs first) I had just enough money to buy that case my buddy Siggy recommended:
<A HREF="http://www.tomshardware.com/howto/20040607/miditower-69.html#conclusion" target="_new">here</A>
 

Zeekfu

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this is gonna fix everything: My buddy Siggy put the Tom’s stamp on it, see:
<A HREF="http://www.tomshardware.com/howto/20040607/miditower-39.html" target="_new">here</A>