What GPU is in your card, is it NVidia or is a HD 5800 series from AMD?
SLI is for NVidia cards and it always works better if you have identical cards. You can't use 2 different GPUs, even if from the same generation, they have to be the same. But you can use different manufactures (like your ASUS and MSI or EVGA or Gigabyte etc.), as long as it's the same GPU.
If it's an AMD card, like I think it will be, then you can use 2 different GPUs in Crossfire, just as long as they're from the same generation. So you can use any other HD 5800 series card, but it's still better to use an identical card. As for RAM, because the data has to be identical on both cards, both will be limited to the lowest of the two cards....so don't add a card with low RAM to another with lots of RAM, the results won't be good.