Stuck in Blue Screen/Boot Manager loop after Windows 7 update

[XAL53]

My computer did a Windows security/critical system update at 2am last night (4/15/2014) and now my computer is stuck in a bluescreen/boot manager loop.

I'm using:
Win7Home 64bit
ASUS P8Z77-V LE PLUS/ intel i52500K/ GTX 580 (all drivers current)
I have no external drives attached.

So here's what happens:
I startup, it gets to the windows loading screen, flashes a bluescreen (for a milisecond) and restarts with 2 options at boot manager: repair pc and start windows normally.

Restarting windows normally repeats the process above (as does safe mode, if I can even get to it - f8 brings up a UEFI boot list 99% of the time), going into repair mode states that it was unable to fix the problem, and trying to restore to any restore point fails (as a restart immediately kicks me back to square 1).

The error data from repair shows me this:

ProblemEventName: startuprepairoffline
ProblemSignature01: 6.1.7600.16385
ProblemSignature02: 6.1.7600.16385
ProblemSignature03: unknown
ProblemSignature04: 21200024
ProblemSignature05: autofailover
ProblemSignature06: 3 (has now climbed to 10 # of failed repairs)
ProblemSignature07: baddriver
OSVersion: 6.1.7601.2.1.0.256.1
localeID: 1033

I found a guy with a similar problem here:
http://www.bleepingcomputer.com/for...to-start-system-repair-cant-discover-problem/

chkdsk and bootrec.exe display no problems
sfc/ scannow displays no problems as well (or tells me that I have a repair pending and that I should restart, doing this kicks me back to square 1)

I tried using FRST per the guy in that thread, but it just says that it is unable to find: CMD: Del /q C:\Windows\Tasks\At*.job

It seems like this problem is 100% repairable, but nothing is working for me right now.
I would appreciate any help greatly.

Here is the FRST log
https://mega.co.nz/#!QYIGxAwA!GtlYA8SNt-WoHXT9NnSuIZDI8ntJhQTxxyRWVJpo4GY

 

[che0063]

1.Remove all floppy disks, CDs, and DVDs from your computer, and then restart your computer by clicking the Start button Picture of Start button, clicking the arrow next to the Shut Down button Picture of Shut Down button, and then clicking Restart.


2.Do one of the following:

•If your computer has a single operating system installed, press and hold the F8 key as your computer restarts. You need to press F8 before the Windows logo appears. If the Windows logo appears, you'll need to try again by shutting down and restarting your computer.


•If your computer has more than one operating system, use the arrow keys to highlight the operating system you want to start, and then press F8.



3.On the Advanced Boot Options screen, use the arrow keys to highlight Last Known Good Configuration (advanced), and then press Enter.


4.If your computer has more than one operating system installed, use the arrow keys to highlight the operating system that you want to start by using Last Known Good Configuration, and then press Enter. Windows will then resume starting normally.