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Infotater - The Plain Text Version.
WARNING! This post contains infotation. This was mainly cut-and-paste,
but I tried to remove any confusing formatting. There is also a free
site that converts PDF to HTML, and emails you the result:
http://www.gohtm.com/convert_html.asp (but the file must be under 2MB,
so it wouldn't work here).
Field Guide to the Creatures of Frobozz.
Due to last year's bankruptcy of the Frobozz Magic Grommet Company, a
severe shortage of infotaters (rotating data wheels) has developed. For
the duration of this crisis, we are substituting (at the last minute
and at great expense) this special birch-bark-bound edition in book
form.
Borphee Infotaters, Inc.
BLOODWORM.
Bloodworms live in shallow underground pools of water and are often
mistaken for mossy boulders. Their pointy, retractable fangs can extend
up to 32 inches during an attack. They are repelled by the smell of
boiled chives; always carry some if venturing near known bloodworm
spawning grounds. Bloodworms are usually white and gray and black and
red and black.
BROGMOID.
In rare cases, these squat creatures can achieve the intelligence
level of a three-year-old human. Domesticated brogmoids are tame and
can even be taught to perform simple tasks. In the wild, they can be
seen in huge packs sorting through rock piles for edible
rocks. Brogmoids (which live considerably longer in captivity) are red
and purple and red and black and purple.
DORN.
The deadly dorn beast should be avoided at all costs; it can paralyze
its victim with a single glare from its powerful eyes. (Range: about
three feet for young beastlings to about 20 feet for full-grown dorns.)
Dorns usually live in crags and shadows near cliff bases. According to
the last words of dying explorers, dorns are gray and purple and black
and gray and white.
DRYAD.
Dryads, also known as tree sprites, are beautiful and shy. Many never
leave the shade of the tree they were born under. If coaxed,
dryads can reveal the location of forest treasures. They are only
dangerous in large numbers, and then only if threatened.(Angered dryads
have been known to crush attackers under tons of rose petals.) When
awake, dryads are black and gray and white and red and red.
GRUE.
The grue is a sinister, lurking presence in the dark places of the
earth. Its favorite diet is Enchanters, but its insatiable appetite
is tempered by its fear of light. No grue has ever been seen by the
light of day, and few have survived its fearsome jaws to tell the tale.
Toxicologists believe that grues are black and black and red and
black and purple.
HELLHOUND.
When you spot a hellhound, run in the other direction as fast as you
can! Hellhounds are fast, fierce and capable of devouring a human 12
times their size in 3½ seconds. They normally inhabit burnt-out or
enchanted woods and rarely venture beyond their turf, even in pursuit
of prey. Hellhounds are purple and white and gray and red and gray.
KOBOLD.
Kobolds are very capable fighters. If attacked, they will fight back;
if not attacked, they will fight back anyway. They look very
similar to the less aggressive paskalds, but can be easily identified
because their middle toe is slightly shorter than the toes that flank
it. Kobolds live in small tribes in caverns or in very dark forests
and are red and purple and black and purple and red.
NABIZ.
Nabiz are mostly mouth, which is mostly teeth. They instinctively sense
their enemy's weakest point when attacking. Contrary to folklore, they
cannot fly, but they can leap tremendous distances. Nabiz are repulsed
by the color blue, which explains that color's popularity in
adventurers' garb. Nabiz are purple and black and black and black and
red.
ORC.
Once a fearsome race of warriors, the Orcs were civilized by their
fondness for computerized adventure games. Although a small segment
(the Hi-Res Orcs) enjoy graphic adventures, the vast majority (the
Orcs of Zork) prefer interactive fiction. In the
reflected light of a CRT screen, Orcs appear to be red and gray and
purple and gray and red.
ROTGRUB.
Less than an inch long, the rotgrub lies waiting in food. Once
ingested, the rotgrub heads straight for its victim's brain and begins
feeding. Rotgrub death is excruciatingly painful and lasts years
before a welcome demise. They are totally impervious to all forms of
magic, and, even worse, smell like very old cheese. A common house
rotgrub is gray and red and gray and purple and red.
SURMIN.
>From their malodorous breath to their lice-ridden fur, surmins are
utterly repulsive creatures. If they get close enough, they can bore
their victims to death by reciting Greater Borphee County Penal Codes.
A newly shaved surmin is black and black and purple and red and black.
YIPPLE.
The yipple is a master of disguise, able to alter form to match its
surroundings. If disturbed in the wild, some yipples may bite. They
make wonderful pets, but should never be allowed to rest in the cookie
jar if guests are expected. Yipples are violently allergic to many
kinds of animal wastes. When placed on a plain white tablecloth,
yipples become gray and purple and white and purple and black.
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