First step is to leave a constant ping run to your router IP. It is unlikely you find anything interesting but if you do you would be a issue with something inside your house.
It is unfortunate that the ISP router will not respond. This is the most common point of issues.
The other things is many other routers in the path also maybe configured to delay responding to ping if they are busy passing more important traffic. So you can't always trust random test issues as a problem.
I would leave a constant ping run to some ip like 8.8.8.8. This will test to see how large a issue you have. I would also leave it run in the background while you play the game sometime the game traffic itself is causing the problem.
Packet loss causes the largest issue. Very large ping times but it is more a number in a row not just 1 here or there. Also you are looking for large increases. A extra even 100ms is not really possible to see in the game.
After you are sure you can detect the problem with the ping command you need to try to find it and with the ISP blocking the best test point that is going to be hard. Note if you do not see anything it could be something else on your machine. Many times games claim they have high ping times when it is really some video setting issue and the game is getting stuck in a video route and then blaming the delay on a network when it was really the game did not bother to check if there was a packet in the received buffer.
I would then try to leave constant ping run to 8.8.8.8 and hop 3 at the same time. You want the problem to occur on both ping at the same time to rule out random router restrictions.
After this you need to call the ISP but they will in general only fix packet loss not latency. Ping/latency spikes are caused by data being buffered because of a overloaded connection. You of course need to check that you are not exceeding the bandwidth from your ISP but it could also be that you and your neighbors who share the same data connection to the ISP are overloading something. Most times issues like this are time of day related, it will work fine say very early in the morning but work very bad during the day and especially say 5-10pm when people are home from work.
So I ran some pings, ran all 3 at the exact same time, slightly off by human error.
The graph below is data I took today. I wasn't playing any games at the time, I was just watching the results. Ran 100 pings each.
So this data set is from last night. I only did my router and google, didn't think to do any others, such as the hop 3 you recommended. This is what it looks like when games are unplayable.
It seems to be time related like you said. I can't verify this but I'll pry continue to test each night around. Got home at and went on my PC around 5:00 no lag. Was getting a constant 3ms on my router for the most part. No lag while playing any games. My brother gets home at 5:45 and gets on his PC around 6:30ish. My other family members work from home and pry around 6:30-7:00 They stop work and they then watch their shows or do whatever they do on their phones and such and gets to the point a resulting in the 2nd graph. It still continues to have issues even when It's like 1:00 AM on the weekends and I'm the only one awake. I'm not sure about my neighbors being on the same data connection. It wouldn't surprise be because my town signed a contract that only allowed residents to get charter spectrum internet.
How do I go about checking that my household is not over exceeding the bandwidth from my ISP?
As I'm writing this I have a constant ping to my router and it's starting to act like the graph from yesterday. Random "request timed out" and high pings in the 200s. No constant 3ms like earlier.
This is all pings to my router. Does this verify packet loss, meaning I should contact my ISP about it?
(I didn't run all 4 tests at the same time, did one at a time)