I'm not sure what you mean about memory performing differently on different MoBos, if the MoBo / BIOS supports 2800/3000 on both then 3000 will run on both. The presence or absence of any particular memory on a MoBo manufacturer's QVL simply means that a manufacturer has either paid or not paid the MoBo manufacturer a fee to test and certify the memory on a particular board.
I am not ware of any brand or CPU model specific issues with RAM. Either the MoBo / CPU supports that speed or it doesn't. I can't help but chuckle when posters claim this vendor is better or worse than another in this respect. Like PSU's, whose sticker is on the RAM means far less than whose modules are on the stick. When a new RAM line starts coming off the assembly lines, vendors will source from various suppliers to meet their demands for each market niche. So you might wind up with say a group of vendors (for example)....
buying from Hynix for their 2166/ 2400 lines
buying from Samsung for their 1600/1866 lines
buying from Elpida for their 1333 line
In the above listing the sources are listed from most expensive to least and the vendors pay more to satisfy the higher market niches. Of course yield rates are not 100% but the more expensive stuff will have higher yields nd is therefore better able to supply demand in early production runs. As time goes on, yields improve and vendors may change suppliers. What we saw some time back for example is the following:
Mushkin Redline 2400 came with Hynix modules and 10-12-12-28 timings
Corsair Dominator 2400 came with Hynix modules and 10-12-12-28 timings
Corsair Vengeance Pro 2400 came with Hynix modules and 10-12-12-28 timings
Then, after version 4.51 Corsair Vengeance Pro 2400 started to come with 10-12-12-31 timings. What happened ? Had Corsair switched vendors and while the new vendor could deliver the required yields, it req'd a slight hit on the timings ? Taking off the heat sinks confirmed that there were no more Hynix modules. Months later the Dominator 2400s also switched to 10-12-12-31 and though I haven't personally taken heat sinks on a set, I can only assume they also switched vendors here.
If you want the most reliability and overclock ability, my suggestion is to stick with a vendor which supplies Mushkin modules. The only ones I can personally confirm were still using Hynix in September was Mushkin.
I think your concern about 100% compatibility for OC'n is related more to the number of modules. 2 x 8GB will generally get higher OCs than 4 x 4 GB. Going from 2 modules to 4 modules has a significant impact on OC'n as this presents a much greater load on the IMC. Your stable OC with 2 x 8GB may often turn into an unstable OC with 4 modules. The 1st "fix" attempted here is to increase DRAM voltage. Ignore the fear mongers who will tell you that Intel / MoBo manufacturer's will void your warranty at DRAM voltages above 1.5. You will note that until recently there was not a single 2400 set available withe < 1.65 and if ya check Intel's certified XMP RAM listings you will see sets certified by Intel at 1.7 volts. Again here, Hynix excels as OC enthusiasts routinely take their DRAM Voltage above 1.9 when using Hynix modules.
Your problem here is finding them .... as soon as they arrive they are quickly gobbled up and can be as hard to find as the latest and greatest GFX card on release day. Newegg usually has the best prices ) about $30 - $50 less but they are out at the moment.
$350 G.SKILL Trident X Series 2400
(10-12-12-31)
http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16820231590
$400 Mushkin Redline Frostybyte 2400
(10-12-12-28)
http://www.ramexperts.com/ddr3/mushkin-994122-ddr3-udimm-4x8gb-32gb-pc3-19200-2400mhz-10-12-12-28-redline-frostbyte-1-65v.html
$430 Mushkin Redline Ridgeback 2400
(10-12-12-28)
http://www.ramexperts.com/ddr3/mushkin-994122r-ddr3-udimm-4x8gb-32gb-pc3-19200-2400mhz-10-12-12-28-redline-ridgeback-1-65v.html
$500 Corsair 2400 Vengeance Pro
(10-12-12-31)
http://www.ramexperts.com/ddr3/corsair-cmy32gx3m4a2400c10r-vengeance-pro-red-32gb-4-x-8gb-240-pin-ddr3-sdram-ddr3-2400-pc3-19200-designed-for-4th-generation-haswell-processors-desktop-memory.html
$600 Corsair 2400 Dominator
(10-12-12-31)
http://www.ramexperts.com/ddr3/corsair-dominatorr-platinum-cmd32gx3m4a2400c10-32gb-4-x-8gb-ddr3-dram-2400mhz-pc3-19200-c10-memory-kit-for-ddr3-systems.html
$570 Corsair 2400 Dominator
(10-12-12-31)
http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16820233394
Again, the difference in timings so far has been a reliable indicator between "Hynix" and "other" but I wouldn't rely upon it 100%
As to whether to go higher .... frankly I have found that the ROI isn't there.....there are diminishing returns as far as performance goes and pricing jumps dramatically. You can look at the conclusions here and take what you will from there tho it was basically a gaming performance analysis. It does completely debunk the widely held notion that anything above 1600 is a waste of money.
Ultimately the same advice also applies to multi-GPU users as well as IGP: avoid 1600 MHz and below.
I pretty much agree with the author's conclusions with the caveat that since the article was written 2133 proces have dropped to a point where it's generally the proverbial no brainer. But as to your question nite the 1st paragraph on that page as the statement still applies:
The major enthusiast memory manufacturers are all playing a MHz race, to retail the most MHz possible. These are pretty much all Hynix MFR memory kits, known for their high MHz, but these kits are still binned in their thousands to get one or two modules that hit the high notes. With Haswell memory controllers happily taking DDR3-2800 in their stride, it all boils down to how useful is this increase in memory versus the price at which it costs to bin and produce.
Again, as production lines improve we'll see more vendors switching from Hynix which is now common at 2400. But as yields decrease drastically with each bump from 2666 to 3000 and higher, it gets harder and harder to say the price is worth it ..... even when it is considered on the basis of increase in system performance as compared with increase in system cost (as opposed to increase in RAM cost).
Summing up....
It has not been my experience that "memory can vary on different mobos" in a general sense..... whose logo sticker is on it, I have found to be meaningless I have run into specific incompatibilities in the past but none such that I could draw conclusions from and again, absence of a QVL does not mean incompatible. If a MoBo works fine at given speed timing with Hynix modules on a Mushkin stick it will work fine with Hynix modules on a Corsair stick. I am less confident that a MoBo will works fine at given speed timing with Hynix modules on a Corsair stick than I am with Samsung modules on a Corsair stick.
Wasn't suggesting that you buy the fastest memory but to buy the fastest memory which the R4 supports and for which **you** feel you are getting a satisfactory return on investment. AFAIK, (haven';t checked recent BIOS updates), the R4 supports up to 2800. If ya looking for guarantees, pick something off the QVL.
Every DDR3 kit runs cool regardless of the absence or presence of tall toothy heat sinks whose only cooling function is to "look cool". Tweaking and OC ability comes not from whose logo is on it but whose modules are in it. To insure performance and tweaking / overclock ability, most manufacturers initially used Hynix modules but as yields improved, many vendors have opted for lesser quality / lower cost suppliers. To meet your goals, again like PSU's, it's best to focus on what's inside then than whose logo sticker is on them.
Does [insert almost any RAM vendor name here] sell average or extreme high performance RAM ? The answer is yes. It's going to be up to you to confirm which models have what. If one or more vendors are offering lower timings than others, it's likely indicator that they are sourcing from different module suppliers.