back_by_demand :
Please, please, please, arrange for a friend to video it and get it up on Youtube, I would pay to see the "Genius" begging for mercy
Me: "Wow, this MacBook right here is so cool! I bet it has all kinds of sick hardware inside, this 17'' chassis can fit loads of stuff!"
Genius: "Of course! Apple Mac allows for the best user experience possible!"
Me: "ZOMG, great!" *simulates iZombie Apple-awe* "Is the CPU here cooled properly? I hate it when laptops heat up and ruin my pr0n browsing experience..."
Genius, a little worried since the customer mentioned something named a "CPU": "Apple guarantees that MacBook will provide the most pleasant user experience available on the market."
Me: "Great! Now I'm DEFINITELY sure I want to buy it!"
Genius, glad that he brainwashed another client: "All right! You've made the right choice!"
Me: "Of course I did! So, how much?"
Genius (proudly): "Apple customizes your MacBook to suit your needs. The price depends on what you want from it!"
Me: "Cool! Let's see what I can customize here!"
Genius: "You have a choice between three chips: fast, faster and very fast. Which one would you like to add to your MacBook?"
Me: "Of course, the fastest!"
Genius: "Done! What about the graphics card?" *makes a disgusted face since the existence of dedicated graphics cards is not approved by Apple* "Your graphics card will enhance your MacBook visual experience: do you want to watch online videos,
edit photo and video content or maybe
even work with 3D design? Whatever you want to do, Apple has a graphics card just for you!"
Me: "I want to do everything, because Macs can do everything! Give me a fastest graphics card you have!"
Genius: *amazed by the customer's seeming idiocy, but pleased with the amount of money Apple will get* "Alright. What about storage space? Mac allows you to store your photos, movies and music bought in Apple iTunes™©® store!"
Me: "That's great! I love watching movies, I want to have lots of space!"
Genius: "Sure! And last thing, what about memory? You know, RAM? Ah, it's fine, you don't need to get into details. Apple will provide you with the best user exp-"
Me: *cutting him off* "Oh, RAM is very important! I want to have loads of it! My friends say that the more RAM you have, the better your computer works!"
Genius: "Apple will make sure your Mac has enough RAM for the most pleasant user experience! Now that we're done with customizing your Mac, why don't you take a tour of Mac OS X on this Mac test machine while your Mac is being prepared?"
Me: "Eh? Oh, no, thank you. I won't really use Mac OS. I mean, it doesn't support SLI..."
Genius: "What. Did. You. Just. Say?!"
Me: "That Mac OS doesn't support SLI."
Genius: "No, before that!"
Me: "That I won't use Mac OS?"
Genius, raging: "YES! Your Mac comes with Mac OS X and you must use it in order to achieve the best user experience..."
Me: "No, that's cool, bro. If I'd want another Linux distro, I'd go for Ubuntu. 11.10 comes out tomorrow, ya know? Gotta try it, though I've heard they removed the classic desktop and I'll have to screw around with the repositories again to get it back. But actually I'll use Windows 7."
Genius, dumbstruck: "But Windows is such a vulnerable OS! Surely you don't want to risk malware infection!"
Me: "Nah, I don't really care about that, I know my way around my computer and remove malware manually, in a rare case it gets onto my machine.. didn't happen since I switched to Windows 7, actually... what a weird coincidence... and it has great driver support and gaming. SLI works there, and so does Crysis."
Genius: (speechless)
Apple employee: *comes in with the Mac* "Sir, your Mac is ready!"
Me: "Cool! Let's see the specs! <curses at the pointlessly huge touchpad and navigate to hardware specs> What's that?"
Apple employee: "But sir, you requested the best chip and the graphics card possible!"
Me: "Yes, I did. In that case, what are GT555M and Core i7 non-Extreme series doing here along with only 8GB RAM? And what's this
price tag, $3K? GTFO n00bs, I'm off to the Asus store... I'll get a VX7 or a G74+desktop rig for this price... see ya! :lol:"
AE and Genius: "FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!"
Me: *takes a picture of rage with a Galaxy S2* "And your phones suck, too!" *leaves an Asus ROG laptop advertisement booklet on the table and leaves*
That's the way I picture it. The only thing stopping me is that my country doesn't have any Apple stores
😀 Maybe it's for the best, less Apple = less blight.