Action_Man
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- Jan 7, 2004
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- Feb 6, 2003
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Come on guys ... coming out of Intel, near San Francisco, we all suspect that Conroe is/will be gay, however, when Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
- Feb 6, 2003
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In the advanced lesson, Chuck teaches you how to nitrogen cool your num-chucks and demonstrates how to spin them @ 37.2GHZ.
In addition he explains how "num-chucks" got there name from a terrible mishap, in a battle he had against a P3, that rendered him impotent.
Kamaz, your picture tickles my fancy.
In addition he explains how "num-chucks" got there name from a terrible mishap, in a battle he had against a P3, that rendered him impotent.
Kamaz, your picture tickles my fancy.
- Feb 6, 2003
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Actually, Chuck Norris encountered his 1st set of nunchucks against Bruce Lee ... in "Way of the Dragon", Bruce Lee pulls out Chuck Norris's chest hair by the roots ... Bruce Lee is now dead!
After that initial defeat, Chuck norris flew back in time using a secret technique tought to him by the late bruce lee. There he roundhouse kicked leonardo da vinci and stole his plans to a machine leonardo has been working on his whole life. That machine was the total gym. Not no stinkin' Conroe chip ... 8O
After that initial defeat, Chuck norris flew back in time using a secret technique tought to him by the late bruce lee. There he roundhouse kicked leonardo da vinci and stole his plans to a machine leonardo has been working on his whole life. That machine was the total gym. Not no stinkin' Conroe chip ... 8O
chunkymonster
Splendid
- Jan 12, 2006
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Hmmm...after some serious deliberation, reviewing archival footage, and re-reading the conroe article...my vote goes to...
CONROE!
That new proc is going to be MacGuyver, Jet Li, Jean-Claude Van Dame, Bruce Lee, Cynthia Rothrock, Billy Banks, Steven Seagal, the mighty Chuck Norris with a hint of Superman all rolled into one unbelievable peice of super head cracking, round house kicking, block of cement breaking, point a finger at any code any split the atom processor of all processors in the whole world that will ever be through eternity!
CONROE! CONROE! CONROE!
CONROE!
That new proc is going to be MacGuyver, Jet Li, Jean-Claude Van Dame, Bruce Lee, Cynthia Rothrock, Billy Banks, Steven Seagal, the mighty Chuck Norris with a hint of Superman all rolled into one unbelievable peice of super head cracking, round house kicking, block of cement breaking, point a finger at any code any split the atom processor of all processors in the whole world that will ever be through eternity!
CONROE! CONROE! CONROE!
chunkymonster
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- Jan 12, 2006
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chuckshissle
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- Feb 2, 2006
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I don't know what the freak, but I'm just really confused about this forum. I know it's a joke but Chuck Norris, didn't that guy died long time ago? I've seen his movie like the "Delta Force" with his flying dirt bike equiped with rockets and grenade launchers. Its was pretty cheesy but nonetheless paved his way to Hollywood. Didn't he end up selling BoFlex for a living? And that cowboy series his in?
How the hell he's related to cpu's? I don't get it. What's next David Hasselof -vs- AM2?
But it's pretty hilarious though reading all this stuff!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
How the hell he's related to cpu's? I don't get it. What's next David Hasselof -vs- AM2?
But it's pretty hilarious though reading all this stuff!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
- Feb 6, 2003
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Just for the record, and this is official: Today is Chuck Norris' 66 birthday, but the guy is timeless. I can't confirm this, but it's rumored that rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris punched his way out of his mothers womb. Shortly thereafter, he grew a beard.
He's living proof that Moore's Law lives!
He's living proof that Moore's Law lives!
samir_nayanajaad
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- Feb 22, 2006
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Little Known Facts About Chuck Norris
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles".
Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he
grew a beard.
4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the
JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his
beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
5. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and
starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from
drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too
much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift
of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,
jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence
to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of
roundhouse kick related deaths.
7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by
yelling, "Bang!"
8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from
cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also
requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on
his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and
saying "booya".
10. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is
injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to
lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck
said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came
back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he
threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with
cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her
a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
13. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours.
If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my
virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
14. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
15. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put
razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his"
way.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a handgun and a bucket.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Chuck ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
Chuck Norris once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
If you were to lock Chuck Norris in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Chuck Norris replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
Chuck Norris was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
You are what you eat. That is why Chuck Norris's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the direction of Chuck Norris. He just likes to sit on a lawn chair and shout, "Jackets are for pussies!" at the Acrtic researchers.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Not only was Chuck Norris the first to shoot a baby out of a cannon, he was the first to eat a high velocity baby shot out of a cannon
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles".
Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he
grew a beard.
4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the
JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his
beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
5. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and
starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from
drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too
much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift
of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,
jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence
to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of
roundhouse kick related deaths.
7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by
yelling, "Bang!"
8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from
cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also
requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on
his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and
saying "booya".
10. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is
injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to
lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck
said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came
back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he
threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with
cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her
a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
13. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours.
If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my
virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
14. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
15. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put
razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his"
way.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a handgun and a bucket.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Chuck ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
Chuck Norris once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
If you were to lock Chuck Norris in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Chuck Norris replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
Chuck Norris was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
You are what you eat. That is why Chuck Norris's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the direction of Chuck Norris. He just likes to sit on a lawn chair and shout, "Jackets are for pussies!" at the Acrtic researchers.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Not only was Chuck Norris the first to shoot a baby out of a cannon, he was the first to eat a high velocity baby shot out of a cannon
Panzerzero
Distinguished
- Mar 10, 2006
- 126
- 0
- 18,680
1.The Earth the big bang happened after a roundhouse from CN.
2.The Ipod after creating what he thought was the second best device behind the Total Gym of course, Chuck put the Ipod in the trash. After which Engineers began to fight over the scraps. With in that trash recital was Iraq’s missing WMD, a video of as posted with in this forum, and Brittney Spears’ virginity not taken by Chuck by choice!.
3.The desktop PC, the phone, radio, internet and TV. All needed to sell his total gym.
4.You. Chuck has a time machine and slept with your mom. Your dad was jealous and said the child was his.
5.Mathematic; after person asked the question “how much better are you then life itself.” Chuck created all math as we know it. The person who asked the question was mysteriously killed by a round house kick, a note was left with a mathematic equation that no one has been able to grasp. Intel and AMD have been build chips to process this equation ever since. These chips are secretly fueled by Chuck Norris “juice”
6.Death, after Adam ate the fruit God asked Chuck to kick him.
7.Spike TV. I am not going to explain this one.
8.Finally, Chuck created the female orgasm. Thought to be a myth by many people after point at an German airplane filled with women the orgasmic power destroyed the plane and created a space time shift. This shift allowed Chuck to travel back in time and have sex with his mother and create “The Chuck”. Now more powerful he travel back the future and taped Walker Texas Ranger! :twisted: WOW
2.The Ipod after creating what he thought was the second best device behind the Total Gym of course, Chuck put the Ipod in the trash. After which Engineers began to fight over the scraps. With in that trash recital was Iraq’s missing WMD, a video of as posted with in this forum, and Brittney Spears’ virginity not taken by Chuck by choice!.
3.The desktop PC, the phone, radio, internet and TV. All needed to sell his total gym.
4.You. Chuck has a time machine and slept with your mom. Your dad was jealous and said the child was his.
5.Mathematic; after person asked the question “how much better are you then life itself.” Chuck created all math as we know it. The person who asked the question was mysteriously killed by a round house kick, a note was left with a mathematic equation that no one has been able to grasp. Intel and AMD have been build chips to process this equation ever since. These chips are secretly fueled by Chuck Norris “juice”
6.Death, after Adam ate the fruit God asked Chuck to kick him.
7.Spike TV. I am not going to explain this one.
8.Finally, Chuck created the female orgasm. Thought to be a myth by many people after point at an German airplane filled with women the orgasmic power destroyed the plane and created a space time shift. This shift allowed Chuck to travel back in time and have sex with his mother and create “The Chuck”. Now more powerful he travel back the future and taped Walker Texas Ranger! :twisted: WOW
ak47is1337
Distinguished
- Jan 30, 2006
- 1,830
- 0
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Dude, Chuck Norris would freaking overheat!
We would have to dip him in liquid nitrogen for 3 hours beforehand, just to give him preperation.
We would have to dip him in liquid nitrogen for 3 hours beforehand, just to give him preperation.
Chil
Distinguished
- Feb 20, 2006
- 192
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I'd say Bruce Lee, because as we all know when he and Chuck Norris first fought in "Way of the Dragon" he kicked Chuck's ass. Face it, asians are just better at this kind of stuff, and this is coming from a german engineer!
With such overwhelming evidence towards Lee, it seems that the real answer is Chuck. After "Way of the Dragon" Lee realized that if the two ever fought again, the universe would implode on itself instantaneously. That is why Lee selflessly sacrificed himself to save the universe, leaving Chuck as the only living being to ever be able to count to infinity or beat a brick wall in tennis.
I guess my point is that you can't go wrong with Lee or Norris, as both can simply unmake the conroe whenever they want to.
With such overwhelming evidence towards Lee, it seems that the real answer is Chuck. After "Way of the Dragon" Lee realized that if the two ever fought again, the universe would implode on itself instantaneously. That is why Lee selflessly sacrificed himself to save the universe, leaving Chuck as the only living being to ever be able to count to infinity or beat a brick wall in tennis.
I guess my point is that you can't go wrong with Lee or Norris, as both can simply unmake the conroe whenever they want to.
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