Did I buy the wrong everything?

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from the spec sheet, the 6970 requires roughly 19amps from the 6 and 8 pin cables. your power supply has 2 12v rails, each with 38 amps, so yes, you will be just just fine (full system with fans and drives).

your home server will also be just fine on either of the 4xx watt psu's.
 
Can not add to the excellent advice. Will just provide some wisdom.
Definition of expert - Ex drip under pressure
At the pay offered at most stores, you are not going to find real experts, if they are they leave for better paying jobs. On rare occassions you will find one that is a computer hobbist and has taught themself. Most are just sales persons and the few "tech" are just "black-box" assemblers, (outside the exception that I mentioned). Often amazed at what bust buy people tell their customers.
 
Well - I ended up over my budget some, but I think I have a very nice system that should last quite some time. i5 2500k, z68 mobo, 8GB RAM, ATI 6950 (hopefully 6970 with some mild work), 64GB SSD for boot, random 7200 for storage (this is just a game rig, I have 'real' storage on another box), OCZ fatality PSU, and I added a new antec 300 case for grins because I'm already in the dog house. 😉