Fill in the BLANK

[JAYDEEJOHN]

He could just do a Fonzi and pop it one

 

[badge]

I'll have to show him a clip on Fonz's method and explain how useful a degree from Yale can be. Fight. Who wins. Winkler vs. Travolta?

 

[JAYDEEJOHN]

Have to go with Travolta on this one
Hes certainly got the size and the footwork

 

[badge]

Mrs. Doubtfire vs. Tootsie. Opie vs. Beaver. 😀

 

[JAYDEEJOHN]

After destroying the family fortune, little Barrackwas heard saying......

Did I do that?

 

[badge]

We could iron out our difference over a beer.

 

[badge]

Time magazine ran a cover story this week asking how President Obama became Mr. Unpopular and citing the president's low poll numbers. It doesn't affect his authority. In times of crisis, Americans will always follow their president, if only out of morbid curiosity.

Ground Zero mosque imam Feisal Abdul Rauf returned to New York from his State Department trip to the Middle East Wednesday. It was a real eye-opener. What surprised him most was Saddam Hussein's smiling face on highway billboards all over the Middle East saying Miss Me Yet?

U.S. combat troops began arriving home in the U.S. from Iraq Monday. They find an America that's torn by ethnic, religious and political divisions. Someday psychiatrists will define the Iraq Syndrome as a condition in which you become the country you overthrow.

President Obama gave a speech honoring Labor Day Monday in Milwaukee. The holiday has become a pretty grim occasion. Labor Day used to be a celebration honoring the American worker and today we pause to remember the Chinese who died sewing for our country.

President Obama gave a fiery speech to a union crowd in Milwaukee Monday where he lashed out at Republicans, saying that Republicans treat him like a dog. That's so untrue. First of all, Republicans love their dogs, and second, all their dogs have papers.

President Obama's new Oval Office rug, ringed by six quotes calling for the welfare of all, was found to be error-prone by author Susan Shelley Friday. The MLK quote wasn't his and the Teddy Roosevelt quote was a defense of rich people's rights. What's worse, the rug faces Richmond, not Mecca.

The Labor Department reported last week that the U.S. economy lost three hundred thousand jobs last quarter. It's affecting migration patterns. This year twenty percent of all college students decided to go to Mexico for Spring break, the rest went there for a new life.

President Obama spent Labor Day relaxing at Camp David on Monday. It's the most relaxing holiday on the political calendar. Labor Day is a day where Democrats celebrate the labor movement at softball picnics and where Republicans exchange work shirts as gag gifts.

President Obama summoned Tim Geithner back to Washington from vacation Friday to help advisers devise an emergency economic stimulus measure. Before drawing up a plan they all agreed the plan must abide by one ground rule. Leaving people the hell alone is not an option.

President Obama's personal approval rating was ten points below Bill Clinton's personal approval rating in the polls last week. Apparently there's more public sympathy for an adulterer than a socialist. Everyone's tempted to cheat but nobody's tempted to share. TADA! LMAO

 

[fazers_on_stun]

Hes grown the federal government by 25%, our debt/spending has tripled since the beginning of our country just in his 2 years in office.
I agree, he projects a better international image than the last 3 presidents, but hes really losing it at home

That's true - I read where GW Bush's deficit in 2008 was about $240B and Obama's in 2009 was about $1.2T (of which $800B was the "stimu-loss" package).

Presidents always get the blame for a lousy economy, for example Democrats love to refer to GW inheriting a budget surplus and turning it into a deficit, but they forget about the dot-com bust just as GW took office, which tanked tax revenues. However a failed spending program to boost the economy, initiated by Obama and passed by the Democratic Congress, can be laid fair and square at their feet.

Personally I like Obama and agree he projects a better image to the world than GW did, except when accepting bogus Nobel prizes after 10 minutes in office (5 of which was his first vacation) 😀, but it seems he really hasn't done much except campaign for the next election and pump tax-payer tourist dollars into various vacation spots. And now he is back-tracking on all those healthcare reform savings statements he was making a year ago. Turns out that the reform bill will actually cost us more money, not less. Geez I think I couldda figured that one out - adding 30+ million freeloaders who otherwise wouldn't have health insurance to the public burden is not gonna drive prices down, duh!

Anyway, my vote in 2 years will go to the candidate who promises to make us energy-independent, as I view that as being the long-term solution to a number of problems both economic and political. Why we continue to send $1T a year overseas to people who don't like us, fund terrorists, etc., is beyond logic.

 

[JAYDEEJOHN]

Not only will it add those millions, you have to include those thousands of government workers making nice monies and having the best benefits around, plus the paperwork/machinery mail etc etc costs on top of that

 

[badge]

Regarding summoning the Hazmat team, it's always fun to carry a large rock from the garden into the hospital emergency room for an undisclosed ailment and announce to emergency personnel you have a rock with high levels of radiation.

I'm waiting for this thread to break out into a discussion of architecture value regarding the new soon to be released CPU's. I'll bring my rock.

 

[JAYDEEJOHN]

Sorta like going to the fights and a hockey game broke out?

 

[badge]

Sorta like going to the fights and a hockey game broke out?

No word yet on the French response.

 

[JAYDEEJOHN]

Stolen from the French hockey team, some of their strategies!!!
http://www.sk8stuff.com/f_synch/basic_formations.htm

 

[MU_Engineer]

MU_Engineer will not respond to this. He's too embarrased.

You Might Be A Missouri Redneck if....

You ever cut your grass and found a car.
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.
Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born.
You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
Every socket in your house breaks a fire code.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
There are more than five McDonald's bags in your car.

more...

The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.
You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
Your considered an expert on wormbeds.
Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."
The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
You've ever bought a used cap.
Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.
You pick your teeth from a catalog.
You've ever financed a tattoo.
You've ever stolen toilet paper.
You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.
The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
You take a fishing pole into Sea World.
You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.


and still more...

You clothing designer is Oskosh B'Gosh
if you own a bolo tie.
you ever wore a tube top to a wedding.
if you ever wore a baseball cap to a wedding.
If your baseball cap says "Dekalb" or "Cat."
If the roof on your house has "MERRIMEC CAVERNS-JESSEE JAMES HIDEOUT" painted on it (WALL DRUG would qualify for this too)
You think the joke " a calf poked his head in the silo and said is my fodder in here?" is a knee slapper.
If you ever picked your teeth from a catalogue OR with a long piece of grass.
You think a Volvo is a part of the female anatomy.
If you have ever castrated anything.
if you ever broke a tooth on birdshot at dinner.
If your fishing poles leaning against the doorame have dired bait still on the hooks.
If you ever warn your kids not to go into a certain building on your property because it might fall in on them.
If all of your shoes have mud or poop on them.
If your bluejeans have cuffs.
if all of your wife's clothes are "stretch"
if there are packages in your freezer marked "Squirrel"
if you ever recieved a box of bandanna hankerchiefs for christmas


*Sorry to take this thread so far off topic. But that's the business I'm in.

With the exception of the "Meramec Caverns" ads being put on top of old barns and people worrying about chiggers (I'd add ticks to that list too), those jokes seem to fit Arkansas, Kentucky, Tennessee, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, or West Virginia at least as well as they do Missouri.

 

[JAYDEEJOHN]

Not too many chiggers in Lowsyanna, at least I never got into em, and no one I know did, but Ark?
Oh yea

 

[badge]

No bugs in Missouri?! Tell that to Vincent Price, He's from Missouri.

Having 'fly vision' is a sure sign you are a Missouri redneck and have Vincent Price syndrome.

Obama experienced fly vision almost daily growing up in Honolulu and blamed it on[strike] Vincent Price [/strike]George Bush.

 

[MU_Engineer]

No bugs in Missouri?! Tell that to Vincent Price, He's from Missouri.

I said there are a TON of chiggers and ticks in Missouri. I probably get at least 50 chigger bites and several tick bites every year despite going through a lot of bug repellent. I pull at least a hundred non-attached ticks off my clothes annually too, to the point where a Leatherman tool is colloquially referred to as a "tick picker" around here. I'd say the chiggers are worse as chigger bites itch like crazy for weeks. You also can't see them with the naked eye, so they're hard to see crawling up your boots or pant legs and pick off like the ticks. It's also much worse than poision ivy, at least in my experience, and I am highly allergic to poison ivy.

 

[badge]

Is simultaneous driving and texting legal in Missouri?

 

[badge]

I grew very close to U. City and the Walk of Fame on Delmar.

http://stlouiswalkoffame.org/inductees/

 

[bildo123]

You are welcome to have [strike]them[/strike] him and call him yours.

http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/3291/224ci.jpg

Obama's image can go lower, which I am betting is a sure thing given time and a bit of history behind his presidency. If comparing Obama to past Presidents, Carter is the closest. Especially in view of Carter being the 'peace treaty' president. Show me one Carter peace treaty, and there were so many, that is worth the paper it is written on today.

Ah-hah! But see how he cleared the Afghani Hurtle? Honestly, thats my only solid reason/purpose for voting in his favor. Although technically its not really "over" is it? Regardless, from what I can see, it will most likely be the last time a vote for quite some time. Nothing personal to do with the current president, but rather the whole stereo typical anti political speil (because a lot of the quotes/jokes mentioned here are funny, and usually the truer a joke the funnier they are.)

 

[Reynod]

MU you should move immediately to Canada ... your Gallatin's will love you for it, and you will unlikely suffer further from these fiendish insects.

 

[badge]

Cleared the Afghan hurdle? Yeah, when space monkeys appear from my butt. Afghan is his baby. A friend's son is serfving his second tour in Afghan currently. he previously served a first term there and two more in Iraq. His dad is busy firing off angry letters to his state senator. Blind ambition and a total lack of rectitude don't get far in politics. The guy will get buried this November. One term is a mortal lock. Hillary could get the Lib nomination before him.

 

[badge]

What's a gallatin?

http://www.gallatin-tn.gov/

 

[badge]

MU...not even a guess?! You are from Missouri and you have no knowledge of this? It's painted into the cliffs along the Mississippi River near the town where this man was from.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Wadlow

 

[badge]

BTW MU I have experienced more chigger and mosquito bites than a tour guide running a daily boat ride down a remote malaria infested african river. I spit at Lime disease. I have had ticks imbedded in my scrotum. That too. reynod don't read this I don't want to give you the impression I am a brute. Ok I'm a brute, OK. Now you know.