Here is the thing before i oc the cpu so at 3.5 i used to be able to get 3200 now even if im at normal speed i still cant get 3200 why is that?
1st gen Ryzen CPU's are rarely capable of pushing RAM at 3200, usually requires Samsung B-die RAM to do it and usually requires a lot of tweaking with custom timings. The practical top is more like 2933 so try for that and see if it works.
As far as overclocking guidance goes: find a stable clock on one at a time so it's either CPU or RAM. Once you find a happy OC for one give it a bit of margin and then try for the other.
When overclocking the CPU a max VCore can be as high as 1.425V when core temp is less than 70C, as with light processing. And with core temps in the 90-95C range, as with heavy processing like a stress test, it should be 1.375V maximum. Better cooling lets you push frequency further to keep under 90-95C but voltage must not run higher than 1.375V at that temperature.
Get HWInfo64 to monitor temps and voltage. Look in the CPU section, for the Core Voltage (SVI2 TFN) sensor for the best sensor of core voltage. Look for the CPU (Tctl/Tdie) sensor for the best CPU core temperatures, although the individual die temperatures can also be very useful.
Core voltage can vary quite a bit, running higher when the CPU is lightly loaded and considerably lower when it's in a heavy stress test. Use that to your advantage. Avoid the tendency to use a lot of LLC; usually a light to mid LLC is better for stability with a heavy overclock.
In general, many people could get as high as 4.0Ghz on 1st gen for a stable 24/7 OC at similar voltage and temps as above, with really good cooling. But don't be surprised if the best you can do is 3.8 or so. If you use Prime95 for stability/thermal testing disable AVX. Or better yet, don't use it and use Cinebench 20 instead.