I don't agree that something can't become a standard without some industry group blessing it.
But they need to have the rights to the IP. That's where JEDEC plays a role as an IP clearing house. There are lots of patents involved in new memory technologies and nobody wants to sink hundreds of $Millions (or more) into design and manufacturing of a new memory product, only to face litigation that threatens to rob most of their profits from it.
Adhering to JEDEC standards also keeps everyone in the same boat, IP-wise, so that if someone like Rambus comes along and starts litigating, it should hit everyone equally.
something has caused JEDEC to drag it's feet here.
How do you know? Maybe Intel just started working on it sooner and got out ahead of the JEDEC version? Advanced memory technologies are tricky, because you not only have to prove that something is technically possible to do at scale, but also economically viable to implement. That involves a lot of theoretical work, designing & manufacturing test chips on the latest nodes, and lab testing. Maybe iterate that process a few times. Meanwhile, everything has to be codified in a standard, circulated, reviewed, questions & concerns addressed, re-reviewed, and finally approved by the committee. It's a long process.
This is almost certainly how many unofficial standards get started.
CISCO was pretty well-known for that. They would get out ahead of a standard with an implementation, and then try to use their market power to coerce the standard towards matching their implementation as closely as possible. Or so I've been told.
In the RISC-V world, there was a counter example of a Chinese company that created their own ISA vector extensions (maybe even based on some early draft), but the consensus went in a different direction and they got stuck with CPU cores with dead-end vector ISA extensions that nobody wanted program for and toolchains didn't even want to support. So, getting ahead of a standard can definitely backfire.