It does depend on the game. RTS's you can get away with 30, maybe less, but a lot of those "elitist jerks" are that way because of a very common problem called "simulator sickness". I happen to be someone that experiences simulator sickness while playing 1st person and over the should view games that use the mouse to move with FPS below 40+. To maintain over 40+ FPS does usually require me to aim for 50+ average FPS.
This has nothing to do with being "better" than you, but rather, it's about not getting sick when I play games. Games are supposed to be fun. Getting sick while playing a game is not fun.
While simulator sickness is different for different people (some get headaches, others get motion sickness like symptoms) it is not a rare thing. The Air force did a study and found about half the population had some form of simulator sickness. What triggers it is often different from person to person as well. For me is sub 40 FPS.