You can do a custom watercooling loop in a small case to keep the noise down to a minimum. I think the optical drive requirement is a bit of a challenge.
I have a Cougar QBX with an i7-8700k+AIO and a 2080 ti with a triple fan cooler and the rig runs about 7dB above ambient while gaming, although I did cut out all grills and put wire grills for better airflow. I am not using any filters. I found that the bottom filter included with the case completely restricted airflow. The QBX does support an optical drive, but it has to be a slot loader.
*Actually, the QBX supports a full-size PSU but it will be in the way of a full length GPU so you can't have both. I use an SFX-L psu so the triple fan GPU can fit. I believe it might work if the PSU is a "short" ATX psu
I'd get (and I have) an NCASE M1 that can take either an ATX power supply with a short GPU, or an SFX power supply with a full length GPU. The Corsair SF750 is silent below 300 watts (the fan waits to turn on). I currently have an SF750 in my Cerberus X. You can install filters easily enough in the M1. It accepts a vertical slot loading drive behind the front cover. Works great.
Without optical I'd say the nzxt H200/200i or Phanteks Enthoo Evolv mITX.
You get silent(ish) performance by using silent(ish) performance fans, coupled with some thin, cheap foam you can get at any hobby/sewing type store and some 3M '77 spray adhesive.
You also get silent from using the absolute largest cpu cooler possible. If the cpu can't heat the cooler very hot, the fans won't spin fast. Low rpm = low volume. I'd be looking at a 360mm mm rad up top, maybe having to use a slim fan above the optical bay, not sure on clearance up there. The bonus being that the rad also doubles as exhaust. Maybe stick 2x 200mm up top and a 120mm/140mm at rear with a Noctua NH-D15S. Tons of airflow, slow moving fans.