Move Over, Virtual Reality: Literal Reality Is The Next Big Thing

[ubercake]

That's great. Reminds me of a skit from Jay Leno where the guy that sells stuff to people on the beach tries to sell them 3D glasses and asks "How would you like to see the world in 3D?" as part of the sales pitch.

 

[BlackHawkRider]

LR glasses? So old tech! I am using LR Contacts!!!

 

[bryantjudoman]

I tried it. I didn't like it. How do I rma the life part and get a refund?

 

[MKBL]

Not bad. It would have had better effect if it were shorter, though.

 

[brandonclone1]

shared this article with my boss and he didn't laugh. butthurt cuz his LR glasses are out of date

 

[shahrooz]

this is the only aprils fools joke that made me laugh today

 

[lcp1109]

lol, you got me until that guy started making strange faces

 

[Benevolence]

I laughed Mission accomplished. On a side note, how much LSD was this guy given?

 

[f-14]

weak april fools, even CERN had a better one: CERN saying it has proved The Force exists, Wednesday brought April Fool's spoofs a-plenty.

Researchers at the Large Hadron Collider just recently started testing the accelerator for running at the higher energy of 13 TeV, and already they have found new insights into the fundamental structure of the universe. Though four fundamental forces – the strong force, the weak force, the electromagnetic force and gravity – have been well documented and confirmed in experiments over the years, CERN announced today the first unequivocal evidence for the Force. “Very impressive, this result is,” said a diminutive green spokesperson for the laboratory.

CERN librarian Tullio Basaglia has learnt to harness the Force to return reference books to their shelves (Image: Max Brice and Daniel Dominguez/CERN)
“The Force is what gives a particle physicist his powers,” said CERN theorist Ben Kenobi of the University of Mos Eisley, Tatooine. “It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us; and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together.”
Though researchers are as yet unsure what exactly causes the Force, students and professors at the laboratory have already started to harness its power. Practical applications so far include long-distance communication, influencing minds, and lifting heavy things out of swamps.
Kenobi says he first started teaching the ways of the Force to a young lady who was having trouble revising for her particle-physics exams. "She said that I was her only hope," says Kenobi. "So I just kinda took it from there. I designed an experiment to detect the Force, and passed on my knowledge."
Kenobi's seminal paper "May the Force be with EU" – a strong argument that his experiment should be built in Europe – persuaded the CERN Council to finance the installation of dozens of new R2 units for the CERN data centre*. These plucky little droids are helping physicists to cope with the flood of data from the laboratory's latest experiment, the Thermodynamic Injection Energy (TIE) detector, recently installed at the LHC.
"We're very pleased with this new addition to CERN's accelerator complex," said data analyst Luke Daniels of human-cyborg relations. "The TIE detector has provided us with plenty of action, and what's more it makes a really cool sound when the beams shoot out of it."
But the research community is divided over the discovery. Dark-matter researcher Dave Vader was unimpressed, breathing heavily in disgust throughout the press conference announcing the results, and dismissing the cosmological implications of the Force with the quip "Asteroids do not concern me".
Rumours are growing that this rogue researcher hopes to delve into the Dark Side of the Standard Model, and could even build his own research station some day. With the academic community split, many are tempted by Vader's invitations to study the Dark Side, especially researchers working with red lasers, and anyone really with an evil streak who looks good in dark robes.

CERN physicist Valerio Rossetti harnesses the Force for more mundane tasks, such as reheating coffee (Image: Max Brice and Daniel Dominguez/CERN)
"We hope to continue to study the Force, and perhaps use it to open doors with our minds and fly around and stuff," said TIE experimentalist Fan Buoi. "Right now, to be honest, I don't really care how it works. The theory department have some crackpot idea about life forms called midi-chlorians, but frankly I think that poorly thought out explanations like that just detract from how cool the Force really is."
With the research ongoing, many at CERN are already predicting that the Force will awaken later this year.
*Sources close to the Data Centre later revealed that these were not the droids they were looking for.
http://home.web.cern.ch/about/updates/2015/04/cern-researchers-confirm-existence-force

The Pythagorean solution

Commerzbank sought a solution to Greeces financial woes, saying Finance Minister Yanis Varoufakis had proposed a one-off licence fee of 1 on European Union users of Pythagoras theorem. The resulting revenues from April 1, 570 BC, to now would be more than 107-tredecillion at a compounded interest rate of 4 per cent, it asserted.

May the Force be with you

CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, reported on its website the first unequivocal evidence for The Force using the Large Haldron Collider. The Force is what gives a particle physicist his powers, said CERN theorist Ben Kenobi of the University of Mos Eisley, Tatooine news that will come as no surprise to fans of Star Wars.

Clarksons new gig

Britains Guardian newspaper reported that infamous gearhead Jeremy Clarkson, newly fired host of BBCs Top Gear, had joined its drive for fossil-fuel divestment. Following what he described as a dark night of the soul, Clarkson said he hoped to regain the trust of the British public by dedicating his time and financial resources to sustainable energy, road safety and forging mutual understanding and tolerance between people of different cultures and religions, the newspaper said.

Euro Sunset

that the European Central Bank was opening a restaurant with a view called Euro Sunset. It will offer basic fare to cater for poor southern Europeans.

SUVs and the UAE

In Abu Dhabi, the National newspaper ran a front-page story saying the United Arab Emirates is considering banning SUVs and 4x4 vehicles and forcing its famously fuel-burning drivers to trade down to environmentally friendly vehicles.

Tescos trampolines

Metro, Londons free commuter daily, showed a woman leaping to grab items from the top shelf using new aisle-long trampolines at a Tesco supermarket.
Read more on Globe and Mail

 

[Jalapenoman]

i am going to buy one right now!

 

[leeb2013]

my LR glasses were slightly out of focus, so I sent them back.

 

[ykki]

MOVE OVER? VR din't even come over!!
Ohh...now I get it :lol:

 

[lancelot123]

The resolution is too low. Also, inb4 they don't let you wear these in public places.

 

[Retrowire]

"(There was a soccer ball-kicking aspect to the demo, but I was too nervous to try it.)"

I died.

 

[bgddy]

I tried "Dinner with Family" and wasn't impressed. Went back to my LCD.

 

[jeremy2020]

The person who spent time on this April Fool's joke should be given a promotion to the brand new branch office of his company in North Korea.

 

[cutekitsune]

This is actually a good idea, glasses that could overlay other scenarios to change reality. Example turning a cloudy and rainy day into a sunny one by wearing the glasses.

 

[Benevolence]

You mean like Google Glass? Or any number of "Augmented Reality" gear out there?