I used to have a 12700k. Replaced it with a 13900kf because I get an upgrade bug, I'm still GPU limited just as I was when I had a 12700k. My 3080 is as fast as the rest of them.
bit_user is right about disabling e-cores speeding up your ringbus on the 12700k. On Alder Lake the relatively slow e-cores are linked to the ringbus speed and slow it down a lot when they are active. The most immediate effect I saw from disabling e-cores is my ram latency dropped by about 5ns which is actually a bunch.
Some of those benchmarkers on youtube are likely tuning their ram which can take a lot of time messing around with timings, a lot of testing and often a fair amount of system instability. XMP is usually a nice jump over stock JEDEC already, and most people enjoy their time more playing games than playing with ram timings.
Even if you do overclock your CPU and get your ram timings just right there will always be somebody with some customized installation of Windows who gets more fps. If you do as well as mainstream reviewers then you are doing fine.
You could make 2 bios profiles since they are easy to switch. One with e-cores disabled to improve gaming performance on most games, and one with everything enabled for when you want that. Or you could just turn e-cores off and on in your bios when you want to. Disabling e-cores won't improve performance in all games, but for a 12700k it should for most.
And if you have Windows 11 installed (and virtualization is enabled in bios, it generally is by default) you might want to consider disabling memory integrity like the following video shows:
View: https://youtu.be/L7qEHqHi-Gs
It is a convenient coincidence that the author is using a 12700k and playing Fortnit
Happy gaming.