Which is better?

if you meant ddr5. go with more VRam the 850m is decently powerful and can benefit you gaming experience with more VRAM, although it might not be powerful enough to use all of it, it definitely can use atleast part of it, if you are spending 1K+ on a gaming laptop, what is another 50?
 
2GB of GDDR5 will kill 4GB of DDR3 in almost every situation. The difference in RAM type (If I interpret your question correctly) is much more important the the amount. This is a bit old, but the benches should still hold even with different cards http://www.goldfries.com/computing/gddr3-vs-gddr5-graphic-card-comparison-see-the-difference-with-the-amd-radeon-hd-7750/
You will hardly every be able to make use of 4gb VRam with that gpu anyway since you will need to lower settings to achieve acceptable framerates.
I'm ranting here, but I'm serious--the only reason manufacturers ever use ddr3 for gpus is so that they can artificially inflate numbers and con people into buying inferior equipment for more money.

More memory will only make things run faster if you use it. I was looking at benchmarks comparing a 6GB hd7970 compared to the 3GB version earlier today. They had identical performance. The 850 cannot effectively drive resolutions high enough to warrant 4gb, especially using inferior ddr3.
 
Here's the mini review of the 4gb from game-debate.com (not a great source of information, but this is an accurate review)

"In this edition, the frame buffer was doubled to 4GB though this will not boost its performance and can be addressed as a gimmick - marketing to lure consumers into paying more for the same product."
 
While I'm ranting, here's what AnandTech has to say about using ddr3 with mobile gpus:

"NVIDIA often allowed OEMs to use either GDDR5 or DDR3. While in theory the gaming experience between the who would be “similar”, that really depends on the game and the settings. I know from experience that in some cases a GT 740M GDDR5 can end up performing nearly twice as fast as a GT 740M DDR3 laptop. Basically, DDR3 GPUs really shouldn’t be used in anything with more than a 1366x768 resolution display"
 
If they're both DDR3, then get the cheapest, because DDR3 is also the system RAM, so it'll just take what it needs from it, IF it needs any more than the 2gbs, which it shouldn't unless it's a high end card.

If however one of them has DDR5, then no matter the quantity, VRAM speed makes a huge difference. Go right for the DDR5 even if it has less RAM.


Check Calculagator's link, it shows the difference between VRAM quantity and VRAM speed.