Why do parents hate games?

[kyzarvs]

I am not judging your parenting as I am not a parent that has any place to relate, but I am a much older brother. My little sister is 12 years old (im 22). Even when I was growing up in high school she was playing Halo, Counter Strike (on a lan with PC's), would watch me play GTA (however little I may have and she dabbled in it as well), and all other sorts of games. She even played DooM 3, but stopped soon after being to afraid to continue lol.

She has absolutely no issue putting the games in perspective as to their realism and the such. She actually came home from school one day when they had a halloween party and someone had dressed up as master chief, she said that he had taken it to far and that was just a game (she was in 5th grade at the time). She has seen the reports that sometime hit the news about how people think video games make people violent and has formulated her own opinion on that being ridiculous (a word that she actually used).

My parents absolutely know and understand that she has played and still plays these games and have no issue with it. Know that I come from a household with no rules what so ever. When I was 15 years old I could stay out until 5am if I wished with no issue whatsoever just had to let them know that I would be home late. I to this day have never taken a drink of alcohol or done any drugs. So to say that someone that is 12 years old is not smart enough to put it in perspective actually is an insult to my little sister and myself and that is why I decided to respond to this. Maybe we are a special bunch...idk, but it absolutely is possible.

Sorry if this sounds like me being a smart a** or whatever, but it really bothers me when people say thing of the such like my parents way of parenting is a terrible way of doing it when I am the only one of my friends who has never touched alcohol or drugs and who didnt go crazy when I got to college because I was very used to the freedom that college offered because I grew up with it. Would that work for everyone? Probably not, but it obviously has worked just fine on 4 kids and seems to be working well on the 5th, so idk it seems ok to me. Just as video games seems very harmless to me as well, but this is coming from a person who saw "Terminator 2" in the theater in 1991 and was born in 1986 so take it with a grain of salt. lol


Best,

3Ball

Interesting point of view - and is it so well written, one that is much more persuasive.

My core belief is that you have been lucky and it is an exception to the rule, but it is food for thought. I think that it brings the argument of censorship up, which is a whole other discussion (basically the idea is good, but needs to be open to individual interpretation as one 12 year old is very different to another for example). I would guess that while your sister experienced such games, she had enough other activities that they never became the primary/only way of spending free time?

As long there is balance, there should be no issues with any responsible person watching / playing anything (within reason - picking up hookers in San-An is just flat out wrong for 12 imho, sorry ). When it is the sole source of sensory input / socialising etc is when the problems occur. My 8yr old daughter plays Warcraft III with us - she's pretty good at it, but afterwards, she's happy to turn it off and go riding or see her friends or whatever - that's an example of where I think her balance of playtime vs other activities and interaction with other people means she can put the mild violence she sees on screen into perspective and it hasn't become a prime drive for her. My 12 year old son however would happily spend every waking second on CS:S so his playtime is limited and he is encouraged to have friends over, go to youth club, work on his BMX skills, go fishing etc to help him keep a balanced view.

 

[darthvaderkenneth]

Why does making them wait until they of an appropiate age mean they will 'miss out'? I have an attention span > 3.7 seconds so I quite enjoy playing slightly older games (FarCry, HL2, San-An, CS:S etc) at ultra max details & resolution - I don't have to have the latest-greatest-must-have-or-my-brain-will-explode-and-my-life-is-so-incomplete uber game of the moment.

And even if they did, I'd put my kids wellbeing over 'missing out' on some frivilous piece of entertainment like a game.

And I'm sorry, but no 12 year old has the frames of reference required to put games like San-Andreas in context, they simply haven't lived long enough. Just because they don't go out and steal a car doesn't mean that they are suitable to play the game, not in my mind.

But hey, I'm old-fashioned and believe parents have a responsibility beyond just baby-sitting their children 😉

first, I am 14 second, I don't play old games, waste of money.

 

[kyzarvs]

Personally I call slavishly spending £50 on games that will be £15 in 6 months to a years time a waste of money (apart from a very few titles) - but it's all perspective

 

[Morton]

I'll express my opinion as a riddle because it's such a complicated issue.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
But all play and no work makes Jack a dull boy too.
The "golden middle way" FTW!

 

[3Ball]

Interesting point of view - and is it so well written, one that is much more persuasive.

My core belief is that you have been lucky and it is an exception to the rule, but it is food for thought. I think that it brings the argument of censorship up, which is a whole other discussion (basically the idea is good, but needs to be open to individual interpretation as one 12 year old is very different to another for example). I would guess that while your sister experienced such games, she had enough other activities that they never became the primary/only way of spending free time?

As long there is balance, there should be no issues with any responsible person watching / playing anything (within reason - picking up hookers in San-An is just flat out wrong for 12 imho, sorry ). When it is the sole source of sensory input / socialising etc is when the problems occur. My 8yr old daughter plays Warcraft III with us - she's pretty good at it, but afterwards, she's happy to turn it off and go riding or see her friends or whatever - that's an example of where I think her balance of playtime vs other activities and interaction with other people means she can put the mild violence she sees on screen into perspective and it hasn't become a prime drive for her. My 12 year old son however would happily spend every waking second on CS:S so his playtime is limited and he is encouraged to have friends over, go to youth club, work on his BMX skills, go fishing etc to help him keep a balanced view.

Understandable.

Personally I call slavishly spending £50 on games that will be £15 in 6 months to a years time a waste of money (apart from a very few titles) - but it's all perspective

Sometimes I wish I had this point of view...would have saved me about $600 a few months ago.

I'll express my opinion as a riddle because it's such a complicated issue.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
But all play and no work makes Jack a dull boy too.
The "golden middle way" FTW!

lol

Best,

3Ball

 

[bildo123]

Maybe i've been exposed to the wrong people but i can't help but notice parents in general especially my mum have an incredibly strong hate against any form of electronic game.

any ideas?

People normally (not sure why) in general on the average have a distaste for things they don't understand. Naturally video-games being one of them for older people. Especially since many people can end up spending a bit too much on them. E.G. they first kid to Level 80 in WoTLK two days after its release or something ridiculous like that.

 

[raptorxt]

HERE

http://www.pbs.org/kcts/videogamerevolution/impact/myths.html


RaptorXT

 

[bmchan]

It's all about choices. If you prioritize the games appropriately there won't be any issues. I have a 19 yo daughter who is a top student. I have never had to remind her or prompt her to study or complete a task. She knows when enough is enough and has her priorities in order.

 

[mi1ez]

HERE

http://www.pbs.org/kcts/videogamerevolution/impact/myths.html


RaptorXT

Good find.

 

[darthvaderkenneth]

Personally I call slavishly spending £50 on games that will be £15 in 6 months to a years time a waste of money (apart from a very few titles) - but it's all perspective

u hav a point there but where i live games are already cheaper than places in europe or the us but prices for games don't go down. BF2 is still the same price and counter strike is only a few dollars cheaper than a new game.

 

[dtq]

Maybe i've been exposed to the wrong people but i can't help but notice parents in general especially my mum have an incredibly strong hate against any form of electronic game.

any ideas?

Its been going on forever, you great grandparents were probably dismayed at your great great grandparents hate of "The Charleston" Of course your great grandparents probably thought bill Haley was an entirely different kettle of fish when they banned your grandparents from listening to rock and roll...

The day will come when the parents will sigh and wish their children would play more video games as they stimulated brains and made people think and learn logic etc and of course almost all games had such good moral lessons to teach...

My Grandad ran an amusements arcade, all of his children are computer literate, several earn their living from computers, my parents were still quite young when they got married and they got into computing right at the start of the home computing boom (our first home computer had 1kb of memory) I wrote my first computer program at the age of 5 (my own program not copied from a magazine) I now work in computers, my kids are all allowed to play computer games as long as its not to excess and not at the expense of homework etc. My oldest child is 6 and top of his year for maths, reading and science, a lot of which he was motivate by playing mmorpg's! He learnt a lot about maths working out xp and loot values etc. He's learnt the concept of saving as well from mmorpg's 😀 He learnt to read largelly so he could understand quests by himself! His school have subscribed to an online national curriculum based education game, which because its presented in game format and uses real world application of the subjects has him fascinated - hes currently doing stuff 4 years ahead of his year at school :lol:

I do quite strictly censor what and how they are allowed to play games, but they have freedom to play games as much as any other activity. My own parents followed much the same principles, hence a lifelong interest in computers that led to a career.

Oddly enough my parents didnt have to stop me spending too much time playing video games, but they did have to curb an unhealthy reading habit, They started drawing the line in the sand when they found out I was staying up till 4 am reading books by a small night light till I fell asleep on the pages... Its all well and good that I was reading lord of the rings at 8, but by time I was 11 I was reading to the point where it was having a detrimental affect on "real life" 😀.

Balance in all things, video games are just another manifestation of entertainment which can be both usefull and elightening or abused and dangerous. Its the same conflict thats probably been going on since some bright young kid decided they liked making cave paintings so much that they took risks with "occupied" caves in the winter and their parents found out they had a close encounter with a cave bear...

 

[pr2thej]

i shouldnt....but lol at the reading addiction!

It is of course a very good perspective on the subject overall in that you can replace <video game> with any interest or hobby in the correct situation.

 

[whycough]

I think that the main point is just to make sure that any gamer should keep it in check. In my opinion, the reason that parents have trouble with kids gaming is that its difficult for them to tell if their child is not getting obsessed with gaming. There's nothing wrong with gaming a bit in your spare time, like others have said, its just a hobby for fun. The problem is when you spend too much time on it.

I'm a freshman in college now, and I've been gaming since I was, probably in the sixth grade. I can say that I wish that I had spent a little less time gaming and a little more time socializing back then. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a socially handicapped, repulsive jerk or anything, but there are times that i feel like I don't have enough experience to deal with certain things. In hind sight, I should have spent a little more time socializing, and a little less time playing Morrowind.

What it comes down to is that if you believe that you are balancing you time wisely, and making sure that you're not only taking care of your responsibilities, but also your social life, then you're golden. Where parents get concerned is that its up to debate if you're ready to make a completely informed decision about what "balanced" really is at age 12.

-whycough

 

[Trialsking]

I'm 20 and I've played over 3,429 hours of games in my life and still have no regret.

Funny, a heroine addict might have the same opinion.....until they overdose. Not that you are just as bad a as heroine addict, but it is hard to get perspective from where you are. Can't see the trees through the forest.

In hind sight, I should have spent a little more time socializing, and a little less time playing Morrowind.

Like he said. Try to see it from your parents side of view. Assuming they love and care about you, maybe they know something you don't. (you mean old people might actually have some life experience as they were young once too!)

I am a parent of a 3 year. But I was once young and used to play many hours of games. My parents complained, but I knew that they had a point. I did not assume that they were just old and did not understand video games. I see it now as a parent and with some years of actual maturity. Too much a good thing is bad.

I still game, and there is nothing wrong with gaming. Its just the amount of time you devote to it that may become a problem. What all parents want is to see is their children have a productive life, with plenty of "life experience". I don't care how hours you devote to your guild and interacting with your clan, it just not the same as life offline. This is what your parents see.

Its hard to have regret while you are doing something, it usually happens after you have finished with it. At that time it is too late to go back and do something else. From where you are right now everything is fine. Lets have have this conversation in like 10 years and then you can quote how many hours you spent gaming and see if it still sounds ok.

I don't mean to sound like a scolding parent, but just start from the idea that your parents care about your well being and your life. Then try and understand why they feel the way they do.

Of course if your parents actually hate you, then the answer is that they are just old farts that don't understand gaming, and they are fun police who only want to ruin your life.

 

[visom2]

My dad made me move my computer from my room in 2005 to his room so he can monitor if I've been playing too much and now (2008 if you're drunk ) I finally got it back. My dad bombarded me with concerned questions about me moving it back into my room.

I told my dad "First of all, when I do need to do my homework, I can't do it because you and mom always walk into your room [we have a garage door in my dad's room], also whenever you come into your room to sleep at night, I have to stop whatever I''m doing, homework included so I won't wake you up. I'll keep my computer in your room if you agree to sleep on the couch while im doing my homework at night, and you can't enter your own room at all, and if you do make each trip REALLY count so I won't be distracted". He told me he agrees, then I was going to drop the bomb question on him "If you're not going to go into your room then how do you know I won't be gaming? It'll be exactly the same as having the comp in my room" but I didn't because I didn't expect him to give in so easily.

Sorry that was more of a minor rant on my parents.

 

[malveaux]

My dad made me move my computer from my room in 2005 to his room so he can monitor if I've been playing too much and now (2008 if you're drunk ) I finally got it back. My dad bombarded me with concerned questions about me moving it back into my room.

I told my dad "First of all, when I do need to do my homework, I can't do it because you and mom always walk into your room [we have a garage door in my dad's room], also whenever you come into your room to sleep at night, I have to stop whatever I''m doing, homework included so I won't wake you up. I'll keep my computer in your room if you agree to sleep on the couch while im doing my homework at night, and you can't enter your own room at all, and if you do make each trip REALLY count so I won't be distracted". He told me he agrees, then I was going to drop the bomb question on him "If you're not going to go into your room then how do you know I won't be gaming? It'll be exactly the same as having the comp in my room" but I didn't because I didn't expect him to give in so easily.

Sorry that was more of a minor rant on my parents.

This is ridiculous.

You don't do homework on your computer if you still live with your parents (unless you're a 37 year old PHD student). You play games on it and chat on it. What you do need your computer for in terms of school work probably takes you all of two clicks and internet access to wiki or something.

Tell your dad that he gave in too easily. And as for you, figure out that if your parents are worried you'll just `game' instead of tend to your schooling, that it probably is for good reason--because you probably do. Limit yourself. Make sure homework is done first, check it off, and then go game your brain away if you please. But make sure your priorities are straight. Get what is needed done first, then go game. Make it a habit. Then don't even worry about who cares about what you do; you've done what you needed to.

Cheers,

 

[dtq]

This is ridiculous.

You don't do homework on your computer if you still live with your parents (unless you're a 37 year old PHD student). You play games on it and chat on it. What you do need your computer for in terms of school work probably takes you all of two clicks and internet access to wiki or something.

My 6 year old son and 5 year old daughter both have homework to do on an internet connected computer. Their school uses an internet based national curriculum program that presents science maths and literacy in the form of computer games using real world applications of the subjects, an absolutely fantastic idea. The site records their progress and the teachers can see where to help them next or where they excel. Even at their young age in a forward thinking school a computer is an invaluable education tool, far more than wiki and word...

The homework they do with their computer is an "optional extra" not required, but it does give them a great advantage and helps the teacher as well. Im all for the intelligent integration of computers and education. The school they go to is very much into IT, The kids sign register each day using computers from 4 years old, they use computers at school on a daily basis, basic point click and drag skills are required learning at 4 years old there 😀.

I also believe that even games that arent intended to be educational can have big educational benefits, I think its wrong to write off computer games as a pure time killing exercise. RTS's and mmorpg's can have their benefits in encouraging fast mental arithmetic, and some even encourage the use of algebra if you really want to understand how they work and how to optimize your game. Star Wars Galaxies I had massive ammounts of spreadsheets for various facets of the game which I used to first understand the underlying mechanics and then to optimize my game. Recreational use of maths is a great bonus to a hobby, of course not all players like to "get to the bottom of things" like that, benfuts vary from player to player.

 

[SnareSpectre]

Interesting point of view - and is it so well written, one that is much more persuasive.

My core belief is that you have been lucky and it is an exception to the rule, but it is food for thought. I think that it brings the argument of censorship up, which is a whole other discussion (basically the idea is good, but needs to be open to individual interpretation as one 12 year old is very different to another for example). I would guess that while your sister experienced such games, she had enough other activities that they never became the primary/only way of spending free time?

As long there is balance, there should be no issues with any responsible person watching / playing anything (within reason - picking up hookers in San-An is just flat out wrong for 12 imho, sorry ). When it is the sole source of sensory input / socialising etc is when the problems occur. My 8yr old daughter plays Warcraft III with us - she's pretty good at it, but afterwards, she's happy to turn it off and go riding or see her friends or whatever - that's an example of where I think her balance of playtime vs other activities and interaction with other people means she can put the mild violence she sees on screen into perspective and it hasn't become a prime drive for her. My 12 year old son however would happily spend every waking second on CS:S so his playtime is limited and he is encouraged to have friends over, go to youth club, work on his BMX skills, go fishing etc to help him keep a balanced view.

I think 3ball really is of a lucky family. If all families behaved and thought like this, there would be no problem. While I will also monitor my kids' game playing time when I'm a parent, what bothers me is that OTHER parents won't monitor THEIR kids' play time. It's the age-old argument about questionable content on TV; sure, I can monitor what my kids watch on TV so it's not terrible if there's the occasional "Desperate Housewives" or "South Park" that comes on, because we can simply switch channels. However, I can't legally reach into the house of another family and turn it off of THEIR TV...and unfortunately the same applies to games. To kind of respond to an earlier point, a lot of parents are just the opposite and believe that all games are harmless, because they haven't experienced what kind of stuff goes on in some of them. God of War comes to mind as one of my favorite games of all time, but I sure as heck ain't letting my kid play it until he/she is ATLEAST 16. This, of course, is subject to change.

 

[purplerat]

My dad made me move my computer from my room in 2005 to his room so he can monitor if I've been playing too much and now (2008 if you're drunk ) I finally got it back. My dad bombarded me with concerned questions about me moving it back into my room.

If it's the same PC you can probably assure him you won't be doing too much gaming on it, unless you only play old games.