10,000 B.C. Review

lol i thought this was a pretty funny review. I prolly had more fun here than I would have had sitting int the theater watching this silly movie.
 
Poo.
First, I thought THG stopped most reviews on movies based on video-games and just did some occasional reviews on good movies. (because most movies based on games suck)
2nd, call me wierd, but I was actually hoping for a historially accurate movie. Maybe I ask for too much, but this time in history (after the 'cave-men' and before ancient Egypt/Greece) isn't well understood. What did happen? I know there where some really old & grand civilizations long before recorded history.
Anyway, entertainment can go too far. Such as, I'm sure people will complain if a Civil-War movie had women with 'Britney Spears' eye makeup, the Emancipation Proclamation was a pop-song, and John Wilkes Booth had tattoos with body piercing.
At least the review seemed accurate :)
 
The whole movie review structure is very informal. Basically Rob and I will say, "Do you think those guys care about this movie?" If we think you care about it or might be interested we'll review it. We look for movies that have crossover appeal to a gamer audience.

I guess the short of it is we review the movies that we have some interest in and hope you guys share our interest. Not to say we aren't interested in "There Will Be Blood" and things of that nature but it isn't what I'd consider a "crossover movie".

"Iron Man," "The Incredible Hulk," "The Dark Knight," "Indy 4" and other summer movies are all on the list to be reviewed.
 


I campaigned for a "No Country For Old Men" review because it was the bizzomb, but sadly I talked myself out it because the ultimate question -- "will our readers care about this movie" -- was coming back as a "No" in my Magic Eight Ball.

BTW, anyone seen the "The Signal"? Excellent indie horror flick. I would have written a review of it if I thought anyone had seen it.
 
Somebody wake me when Roland Emmerich actually makes a good film. Unbelievable amounts of wasted potential in his movies.
 
The movie structure seemed informal and I thought captured the essence well.
The 10,000 BC was a good choice in this catagory. Strange there was never an "Ultima" movie.
Was "The Incredible Hulk" already made?
 
I haven't seen the movie, but I liked this review.

In fact it was the best review of a movie I haven't seen since:

http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/3devadam/

Which was prolly the best review EVAR.

If you haven't read it through, its worth a moment. More time was spent, but it was used well.

PS: Page 2, shoving things into his crotch!!!11!!ONEONE!!
 
I watched this movie last night and I really have to say, this review is DEAD ON the mark.

The movie was horrible, stupid, and idiotic, and the end scene with Evolet just completely destroys any scraps of credibility the movie had left.

Waste of my time and money! I wouldn't even wait for rental, it's just not even worth that.
 
OK true it's completely crap. I still don't understand how someone can make such a bad movie and put it in theatres. For God sake make it a DVD release or something. At least we will know you can be auto-critical of your own work and you live in the same dimension and time-line as we do!.
This movie sucks with a bug S!
 
"The garbled history of "10,000 B.C." is akin to someone in the far future making a movie about the crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth where the apostles are sending email from their iPhones and flying in spaceships."

This is a pretty bad example.
Why not have the apostles flying spaceships and stuff, its no more fantasy than the guy rising from dead, or walking on water, or his mom being a virgin. etc etc
 


Moderators please delete at least this part of his post. Comments like that are meant for the "other" section, if you can say they belong on this forum at all.......