Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the house
Not a critter was stirring, not even MonkeyMouse
😛
The mobos were hung by the coolers with care
In hopes that Bulldozer would soon be there
The fanbois were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of catching up Intel danced in their heads
And Jenny in her sheepskin, and Jay in his toupee
😀
To St. Hector they had just started to pray
When out of the kitchen there came such a clatter
We thought maybe AFG had dropped her Veggie Platter!
But no it was just Jay, a-tryin' to install Flash
Because he was too cheep & had little cash
His ATI GPU had just busted a pin
Couldn't play an MPEG to save it from sin!
So off to the TV he flew like a bird
But all he could get was an Intelmercial which stunk like a turd
With a crack & a flash, on the TV what did appear
Why it was Hellboy with a 6-pack of beer!
And a handful of i7s, clutched ever so tight
And tight too was Hellboy - it had been a long night!
Despite the fake moustache that was just a zucchini
We knew in a moment it was really Paul Otellini!
In his red skin, all covered with flame
He whistled & shouted and called CPUs by name
"Now P4, now C2, now Nehalem & Westmere
Now Sandy Bridge, now Ivy Bridge and bring me more beer!"
"On Clarkdale, on Arrandale, on Larrabee too!
And on the FTC, I say dump a load of Poo!"
"To the top of the charts, to the top of all sellers
Now dash away, dash away, no more rebates for Dellers!"
So angry was Jenny that she yanked out the plug
And shouted at Jay who gave a sheepish shrug
"You can't be a true fanboy when you watch utter crap!
Now while my P2 encodes - I'm gonna take a lo-o-o-ong nap!"
So we all settled in for an evening by the fire
Which was actually just a QuadFX oc'd a bit higher
😛
When lo & behold down the chimney with a bound
Came Dirk Meyer, dressed up like Bozo the Clown!
His face was all red and his eyes were both crossed
And stuck in his beard were some GPUs he had lost
He wore gigantic shoes and his pants had huge pockets
Because 45nm CPUs need really big sockets!
The stump of a cigar was stuck in his teeth
Along with a ham and an old side of beef
It was quite obvious that no vegetarian was he
A huge disappointment to AFG & Jenn-ee
😛
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
Out of the mobos the Intel CPUs he proceeded to jerk
And then he stuck in Semprons with a twist and a push
While cursing like Dick Cheney, or maybe George Bush!
Then laying his middle finger alongside his bulb nose
He flipped us the bird, while up the chimney he rose
"Take that, you Intelers, cuz we really need market share
At least 30 per cent, since that's only fair!
"Just ask the EC, Korea & Japan
The FTC, Cuomo and any other AMD fan!"
And then I heard him shout, before he flew off
"Merry Christmas to AMD, but to Intel a big scoff!"
-- Apologies to Henry Livingston
😀
And Merry Christmas to everybody, whether green or blue or in-between!