An ugly bloke....

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.....walks into his local with a big grin all over his face.

"What you so happy about" asked the Bartender

"well" said the bloke
"you know how I live by the railway, well on my way home last night I saw a
woman tied to the railway track like in one of those old film. Obviously I
rushed over and untied her, then took her to my house."

"Lucky sod" replied the bartender "so what happened?"

"well one thing lead to another and I shagged her all over the house"

"so was she pretty?" asks the bartender

"Dunno, never found her head"


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><))°> sc®umble <°((><
__ www.scrumble.tk __
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\_GRIMSBY TOWN FC _/
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# # # # # #<°))><
# # # # # #<°))><
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# # # # # # # # #
# # # # # # #
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Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life.tfclassic (More info?)

Way down deep in the middle of the congo, sc®umble and a hippo took an apricot
a guava and a mango. Stuck it with the others and he danced a dainty tango....

> ....walks into his local with a big grin all over his face.
>
> "What you so happy about" asked the Bartender
>
> "well" said the bloke
> "you know how I live by the railway, well on my way home last night I saw a
> woman tied to the railway track like in one of those old film. Obviously I
> rushed over and untied her, then took her to my house."
>
> "Lucky sod" replied the bartender "so what happened?"
>
> "well one thing lead to another and I shagged her all over the house"
>
> "so was she pretty?" asks the bartender
>
> "Dunno, never found her head"

The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the
train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly
adjacent to a well dressed middle-aged French lady and was being used by
her little dog.
The war weary soldier asked, "Please ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"
The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said,
"You Americans..You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my
little Fifi is using that seat?"
The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after
another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing
the woman with the dog.
Again he asked, "Please lady, may I sit there? I'm very tired."
The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only
are you rude, you are also arrogant."
The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the
little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the
empty seat.
The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and
chastise the soldier.
An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know sir,
you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You
eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong
side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the
window."

--
Dale,
www.oxygenkiosk.net
Now playing: Winamp stopped

 

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Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life.tfclassic (More info?)

"sc®umble" <yahboo@gotohellspam.com> wrote in message
news:y_Mkc.1423$7S2.383@newsfe1-win...
> ....walks into his local with a big grin all over his face.
>
> "What you so happy about" asked the Bartender
>
> "well" said the bloke
> "you know how I live by the railway, well on my way home last night I saw
a
> woman tied to the railway track like in one of those old film. Obviously I
> rushed over and untied her, then took her to my house."
>
> "Lucky sod" replied the bartender "so what happened?"
>
> "well one thing lead to another and I shagged her all over the house"
>
> "so was she pretty?" asks the bartender
>
> "Dunno, never found her head"

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and
everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the
grief they have experienced he decides to grant them one wish each,
before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I
want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous
too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the
last guy in line starts laughing.

When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor,
laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: "Make 'em all ugly again".

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life.tfclassic (More info?)

http://www.qis.net/~jimjr/pics/french2.jpg

The French edition of Medal of Honor



--
sc®umble
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A cross between a tickle & a hug. An
affectionate wiggling of the fingers in the
region of a friends torso (but not in
inappropriate areas) often accompanied
by cries of "scrumblesrcumblescrumblescrumble".

"Ooooh Sam you are lovely, I think I'll scrumble you"

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Scrumble

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life.tfclassic (More info?)

Way down deep in the middle of the congo, Cookie McCrumble and a hippo took an
apricot a guava and a mango. Stuck it with the others and he danced a dainty
tango...

> A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and
> everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the
> grief they have experienced he decides to grant them one wish each,
> before they enter Paradise.
>
> They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I
> want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
>
> The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous
> too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
>
> This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the
> last guy in line starts laughing.
>
> When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor,
> laughing his head off.
>
> Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
>
> The guy calms down and says: "Make 'em all ugly again".

^_^

--
Dale,
www.oxygenkiosk.net
Now playing: Winamp stopped