Bad photography joke

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On 1 Feb 2005 16:42:54 -0800, chrlz@go.com wrote:

>And there I was thinking this thread would be a repository for a huge
>list of photo jokes, that I can then plagiarise and use in classes...
>But only one so far - so here's my addition:
>
>
>What's the difference between a photographer and a large pizza?
>
>A large pizza can feed a family of four.
>
>
>By the way, I once had a copy of a tongue-in-cheek list of Ways To Make
>Money With Your Camera, that had items on it like this:
>
>1. Sell your camera. Leica's are particularly good here..
>
>2. Hit someone over the head with it and steal their wallet. Nikon
>F-series cameras are best for this because of their weight..
>
>If anyone knows where I can find a full copy of this, it would be
>appreciated.

<http://www.galactic-guide.com/articles/2R86.html>

 

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"Vic" <victoria@example.com> wrote in message
news:0KKdnXC2AsFrYGLcRVnyhw@pipex.net...
>
> "Owamanga" <nomail@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:8k1tv0hv0fj7fjto1cv0mnntnmb5tsqbg5@4ax.com...
> > On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 11:12:10 -0800, Lisa Horton
> >
> > What did the spastic say to his dog?
> >
> > "Down syndrome!"
> >
> > Now that's funny. It defines 'politically incorrect' of course, and
> > offends lots of people, but, let not that stand in the way of humor.
>
> I think it's in the most extraordinarily bad taste, and if you think it's
> funny then I think it's you that should be put down.

I take it you are not a fan of Penn and Teller?

 

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"m II" <C@In.The.Hat> wrote in message
news:jDnLd.187258$KO5.34118@clgrps13...
> Just heard on Virgin Radio from England...
>
>
> Q: What's the difference between a camera and a sock?
>
> A: A camera takes photos and a sock takes five toes...

This one combines my two favorite activities:

Photographers from the Tacoma News Tribune have been trying desperately to
get pictures of Mt. Saint Helens erupting, but by the time they can get to
the airport, charter a plane, and fly to the mountain the major show is
always over. Finally the editor called us and told us to have a plane
standing by, "just in case."

Sure enough, the volcano erupted with unusual fury and the photographer came
roaring into the airport, cameras swinging. Dashing through the dispatch
office and out onto the field, he jumped into the Cessna which was already
warming up on the ramp. "Let's get out of here," he says, and the pilot
loses no time getting out to the taxiway and taking off.

"Okay, I want you to first fly a circle around Mt. Saint Helens, then do a
low pass over the devastated area," the photographer says. "Why would I want
to do that?" asked the pilot. "Because I want to take pictures. That's what
photographers do," replied the photographer. There was a moment of silence
and the pilot said, "You mean you are not the instructor?"

 

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Archived from groups: rec.photo.digital.slr-systems,rec.photo.equipment.35mm (More info?)

Cecil B. DeMille (known as "C.B." to his friends) was noted for his glorious
epics, but he was never satisfied. He wanted to do one last picture that
would be his grandest of all: he would film the book of Genesis from the
Bible. The most spectacular and expensive scene ever committed to film, the
creation of the earth was to be the capstone of this legendary producer's
career.

For the purpose an entire valley in Spain was rented. Construction of the
set took nearly ten years and more money was spent on this one scene than
had ever been spent on an entire movie before. A huge ramp was set up
between two mountains. A gigantic Earth would roll down this ramp,
accompanied by the greatest aerial display of fireworks, smoke, and sound in
history. Thousands of angels, beasts, and men were cast to accompany the
spectacular event. Since the scene could be run only once, photographers
were stationed on three mountaintops overlooking the valley to ensure that
the footage was perfect. Phone lines were run up to the mountains so that
the director could talk to the photographers immediately.

The spectacle went off without a hitch. Even DeMille was so moved by the
experience that he could do nothing for nearly half an hour. He just sat
sobbing in his chair. Finally he reached the phone and called the first
camera station. "How did it go?" he asked. "My God, C.B., it was wonderful!"
came the photographer's reply. "But, C.B., we were all so awed by the scene
that we forgot to start the camera!" DeMille was disappointed, but said,
"Well, that's why we set up three camera crews."

Crew number two was even worse, however. "C.B., it took us three days to
drag all this equipment up here, and when we thought we were ready, we
discovered that all the film cans were still at the bottom of the mountain!
I could just die, C.B." "Do that!" snapped the irritated director.

With trembling hands DeMille picked up the third phone. "You guys got your
cameras set up?" "You bet, C.B." came the reply. "How about film, do you
have all the film you need?" "Its all here, C.B., film, cameras, everything.
Ready when you are, C.B."

 

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chrlz@go.com wrote:
> So here it is, plagiarised, with deepest apologies to Bob and the
> assurance it is reproduced here for educational purposes only:
>
> How to Make Money Using Cameras
> aka Creative Camera Use
>
> by Robert M. Atkins
>

> 3. Lurk around in a dark alley, and when someone comes by, hit them
> over the head with your camera and steal their wallet. Here the
> superiority of medium format work really shines. Mamiya RB67s or Pentax
> 6x7s are very good. If you have to use 35mm, rumor has it that Nikons
> work better than Canons. Under really difficult conditions, use a
> sturdy tripod (always a good idea).

Obviously Bob never ran into a Zenit-E a 35mm SLR where the camera was
carved in Russia out of a single solid block of lead. It weighed more
with it's Hellious 58mm f/2 lens then my Konica TC, with a 200mm Hexanon
f/2.5 attached. They are much better then a Nikon for bashing purposes,
and besides, if it breaks, you can usually find another one used for $25
or so....... I had one in 1977, and I am still getting neck pain
thinking about it......

W

 

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On Tue, 1 Feb 2005 22:09:14 -0000, "Vic" <victoria@example.com> wrote:

>
>"Owamanga" <nomail@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>news:8k1tv0hv0fj7fjto1cv0mnntnmb5tsqbg5@4ax.com...
>> On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 11:12:10 -0800, Lisa Horton
>>
>> What did the spastic say to his dog?
>>
>> "Down syndrome!"
>>
>> Now that's funny. It defines 'politically incorrect' of course, and
>> offends lots of people, but, let not that stand in the way of humor.
>
>I think it's in the most extraordinarily bad taste, and if you think it's
>funny then I think it's you that should be put down. I shall certainly not
>stand in the way when a large truck is accidentally thundering in your
>direction. 'Jokes' like that went out of fashion at least 10 years ago.
>Where have you been? In a coma? I wish you were still there.

Maybe you didn't understand it. It's about a spastic who has a dog
called 'Syndrome' that was jumping up at him. Bad taste, I agree -
probably it's most redeeming feature. Yes, it's from at least 10 years
ago, the oldest mention I can find on usenet is 1995. It's actually
from a longer version of the joke that had a man walking into the bar
and arguing with the barman that his dog was a mongol vs mongrel, ends
in the same punch line.

Wishing death on people however went out of fashion much longer ago,
and probably isn't that amusing to anyone, spastic or not.

BTW, badly quoted text above looks like Lisa Horton relayed the joke,
it has nothing to do with her.

--
Owamanga!

 

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Ah, the memories - I used to have that very Zenit-E with Helios 58/2
!! They don't makem like that anymore! I think all that extra weight
was quite handy - camera shake was reduced very significantly....

 

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because politically correct people tend to be the most intolerant of all.

bill

<chrlz@go.com> wrote in message
news:1107324677.111011.13780@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> Can't help but notice that folk offended by something often include a
> wish for the death of the offender (in this case, twice, even!). Yes,
> I can understand how repeating a politically-incorrect joke deserves
> such a fate....... |O:

 

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On Tue, 01 Feb 2005 22:11:17 -0800, chrlz wrote:

> Here in Oz, we have a comedian called 'Steady Eddy' who makes wicked
> and uncensored fun of persons with cerebral palsy. His comedy can be
> quite a shock initially, and his audiences often include a few who get
> offended, but some of them change their mind when they realise Steady
> is in fact NOT acting, and in fact has quite severe CP. Steady's work
> is in fact very clever and insightful, and he has garnered a very good
> reputation not only as a comic, but also as an actor and unofficial
> spokesperson for CP, and he has, IMO, managed to help free up that
> `awkwardness` that comes whenever a term like Spastic or Down Syndrome
> or Cerebral Palsy or Autism is mentioned. I know some folks who work
> with PWIDs (look it up!), and I call 2 PWIDs my friends - and they all
> *love* Steady's humor. Laughing at oneself is not reserved for people
> without disabilities.. And there is a significant diffference between
> laughing at and laughing with, and although use of the term 'spastic'
> has sadly become something of an insult over time, I don't see how that
> joke was in `extraordinarily bad taste` - perhaps you can explain
> why?...
>
> Lighten up, I reckon.

"Mother doesn't go out anymore,
Just sits at home and rolls her spastic eyes."

A virtual beer (or milkshake) for the first person who correctly
identifies the song and artist. A whole slab of beer for getting the year
right!

--
Save photography - shoot a roll of film today!

 

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Archived from groups: rec.photo.digital.slr-systems,rec.photo.equipment.35mm (More info?)

Roxy Durban wrote:
>
> On Tue, 01 Feb 2005 22:11:17 -0800, chrlz wrote:
>
> > Here in Oz, we have a comedian called 'Steady Eddy' who makes wicked
> > and uncensored fun of persons with cerebral palsy. His comedy can be
> > quite a shock initially, and his audiences often include a few who get
> > offended, but some of them change their mind when they realise Steady
> > is in fact NOT acting, and in fact has quite severe CP. Steady's work
> > is in fact very clever and insightful, and he has garnered a very good
> > reputation not only as a comic, but also as an actor and unofficial
> > spokesperson for CP, and he has, IMO, managed to help free up that
> > `awkwardness` that comes whenever a term like Spastic or Down Syndrome
> > or Cerebral Palsy or Autism is mentioned. I know some folks who work
> > with PWIDs (look it up!), and I call 2 PWIDs my friends - and they all
> > *love* Steady's humor. Laughing at oneself is not reserved for people
> > without disabilities.. And there is a significant diffference between
> > laughing at and laughing with, and although use of the term 'spastic'
> > has sadly become something of an insult over time, I don't see how that
> > joke was in `extraordinarily bad taste` - perhaps you can explain
> > why?...
> >
> > Lighten up, I reckon.
>
> "Mother doesn't go out anymore,
> Just sits at home and rolls her spastic eyes."
>
> A virtual beer (or milkshake) for the first person who correctly
> identifies the song and artist. A whole slab of beer for getting the year
> right!
>
> --
> Save photography - shoot a roll of film today!

..45 acp preferred,
but .22 acceptable.

..223 worshipped, as is .50

 

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"Roxy Durban" <not@home.com> wrote in message
news😛an.2005.02.02.12.40.29.246000@home.com...
> On Tue, 01 Feb 2005 22:11:17 -0800, chrlz wrote:
>
>> Here in Oz, we have a comedian called 'Steady Eddy' who makes wicked
>> and uncensored fun of persons with cerebral palsy. His comedy can be
>> quite a shock initially, and his audiences often include a few who get
>> offended, but some of them change their mind when they realise Steady
>> is in fact NOT acting, and in fact has quite severe CP. Steady's work
>> is in fact very clever and insightful, and he has garnered a very good
>> reputation not only as a comic, but also as an actor and unofficial
>> spokesperson for CP, and he has, IMO, managed to help free up that
>> `awkwardness` that comes whenever a term like Spastic or Down Syndrome
>> or Cerebral Palsy or Autism is mentioned. I know some folks who work
>> with PWIDs (look it up!), and I call 2 PWIDs my friends - and they all
>> *love* Steady's humor. Laughing at oneself is not reserved for people
>> without disabilities.. And there is a significant diffference between
>> laughing at and laughing with, and although use of the term 'spastic'
>> has sadly become something of an insult over time, I don't see how that
>> joke was in `extraordinarily bad taste` - perhaps you can explain
>> why?...
>>
>> Lighten up, I reckon.
>
> "Mother doesn't go out anymore,
> Just sits at home and rolls her spastic eyes."
>
> A virtual beer (or milkshake) for the first person who correctly
> identifies the song and artist. A whole slab of beer for getting the year
> right!


Song: Sunday Paper

Artist: Joe Jackson

Album: Look Sharp

Year: January 1979

:O)

Jay Beckman
Chandler, AZ

 

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On Wed, 02 Feb 2005 21:19:22 -0800, Crownfield wrote:

> Roxy Durban wrote:
>>
>> On Tue, 01 Feb 2005 22:11:17 -0800, chrlz wrote:
>>
>> > Here in Oz, we have a comedian called 'Steady Eddy' who makes wicked
>> > and uncensored fun of persons with cerebral palsy. His comedy can be
>> > quite a shock initially, and his audiences often include a few who get
>> > offended, but some of them change their mind when they realise Steady
>> > is in fact NOT acting, and in fact has quite severe CP. Steady's work
>> > is in fact very clever and insightful, and he has garnered a very good
>> > reputation not only as a comic, but also as an actor and unofficial
>> > spokesperson for CP, and he has, IMO, managed to help free up that
>> > `awkwardness` that comes whenever a term like Spastic or Down Syndrome
>> > or Cerebral Palsy or Autism is mentioned. I know some folks who work
>> > with PWIDs (look it up!), and I call 2 PWIDs my friends - and they all
>> > *love* Steady's humor. Laughing at oneself is not reserved for people
>> > without disabilities.. And there is a significant diffference between
>> > laughing at and laughing with, and although use of the term 'spastic'
>> > has sadly become something of an insult over time, I don't see how that
>> > joke was in `extraordinarily bad taste` - perhaps you can explain
>> > why?...
>> >
>> > Lighten up, I reckon.
>>
>> "Mother doesn't go out anymore,
>> Just sits at home and rolls her spastic eyes."
>>
>> A virtual beer (or milkshake) for the first person who correctly
>> identifies the song and artist. A whole slab of beer for getting the year
>> right!
>>
>> --
>> Save photography - shoot a roll of film today!
>
> .45 acp preferred,
> but .22 acceptable.
>
> .223 worshipped, as is .50

Whoosh.

The correct answer is Joe Jackson. The song was "Sunday Papers" and IIRC
it dates back to 1980.

--
Save photography - shoot a roll of film today!

 

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On Thu, 03 Feb 2005 01:55:47 -0700, Jay Beckman wrote:

>> "Mother doesn't go out anymore,
>> Just sits at home and rolls her spastic eyes."
>>
>> A virtual beer (or milkshake) for the first person who correctly
>> identifies the song and artist. A whole slab of beer for getting the year
>> right!
>
>
> Song: Sunday Paper
>
> Artist: Joe Jackson
>
> Album: Look Sharp
>
> Year: January 1979
>
> :O)
>
> Jay Beckman
> Chandler, AZ

Attaboy! What's your preference, then?

In January 1979 I was 11 years old. I bought this album the other day
after not hearing it for yonks.

--
Save photography - shoot a roll of film today!