Caption Contest: Happy Birthday, Steve Ballmer!

[hang-the-9]

In a horrible occurance, Ballmer got tricked into putting on the Apple Brainwashing hardware (iBrainWipe). He was next overheard saying "Oh my, laptops with no keyboards or enough connectors with sealed batteries are a great idea! Let me get my black Amex out."

 

[ta152h]

Steve : As most of you know, I used to be gay, and so was this beautiful young lady to my right, my new wife. Directly to my right is my former husband and the next recipient of this procedure.

 

[sometoddy]

I'd rather cut off my middle finger and thumb than have to wear one of those! (DONE!)

 

[gebbz]

Firstly...WTF is that THING they are wearing?
Secondly
Ballmer: Microsoft's new virtual sex-mo-tron works perfectly!
Pimp in Middle: Yo homie, this virtual lovin' is gonna cost you!
Girl: OMG virtual Steve Ballmer has his tentacles EVERYWHERE!

 

[sometoddy]

Never have a "bad hair day" again with the new I-Cornrow, featuring goldtooth connectivity and 48 hours on 1 charge!

 

[counselmancl]

More monkey dance!!!

 

[Lavacon]

Steve: " Here we are testing windows 9. Just put on the head gear, close your eyes and it's on..... in your mind.... As you can see, Ralph to my right, Loves it"

 

[darkstar107]

Steve: "Does this kid want to give both her and I some form of weird Shocker?"

 

[maxxwiley]

Steve is really drunk. He has realized he has invested over 50 million dollars into a technology that doesn't work and no one wants.

The asians are happy because they are getting paid $100,000.00 a year to develop a technology that doesn't work and no one wants.

Windows 7 is good though.

 

[Minus_i7]

Scientology invades Silicon Valley. Ballmer missing, presumed crazy.

 

[Djhg2000]

Steve: "This will definitely distract ANYONE from the reversed .Net ad in the background!"

 

[igot1forya]

Caption: A Halloween Photo of Steve Ballmer going as a Communist Party leader in China. Notice the brainwashing head-gear, so stylish!

 

[orbitron]

Look MA, I'm Brainiac.

 

[rambo117]

holy crap, look at all the negatives

 

[rockinthepe]

Steve: "and this is the helmet I used to boost my telepathic abilities to find out what people wanted in an OS with Vista"

employee: "uhhhh Steve... that's the sex-matron"

Steve:"oh, this might explain why vista was so fu......"

 

[hellwig]

Compare the smiles of our two Microsoft LiveSmile participants with that of a regular individual (center). You can see that the electronic muscle stimulation (delivered by our discrete, scalp-based electrodes) produces a realistic smile on even the grumpiest faces, right Steve? . Use our new product on disgruntled employees, upset children, depressed elderly, anywhere a gumpy sourpuss is ruining your day!

 

[Guest]

With my new invention I now control an Asian and the ugliest man alive! West siiiiiieeeeeede!

 

[rockyjohn]

Man-in-the-middle: "Now when I wave my hands, her hair will be magically transplanted to his head"

 

[verenos]

Now with this easy device you can execute remote code on Microsoft's Executives

 

[peelypeel]

Guy in the middle: This tiny device passes high voltage electricity though the users face, causing all their facial muscles to tense, and an extremely ecstatic expression to manifest on their face. They are actually in enormous amounts of pain.

Ballmer: ...elp...eee...

 

[porkfist]

Steve: So glad you could make it! Have you meet my friends? This is Cokenail, and his girlfriend Ugly Betty.

 

[elel]

Steve: Some people say that Microsoft (reserved) makes evil products. Not so. Now that I have finished showing you the new MS Housekeeper, we can turn around and smile for the caA!...

 

[mlopinto2k1]

Steve: I can't believe they just took my picture with this thing on my head!

 

[kingssman]

"Windows 7 makes life simpler.. You put this device on his head, the other on hers, and POOF! You finally understand women!"

 

[AMDnoob]

ZOMG Ballmer and I have the same birthday.. sketch 😀