FADE IN:
INT. COMCAST HEADWQUARTERS - DAY
An Overweight Executive sits in a hottub filled with customers ill-gotten cash. Suddenly the solid oak double-doors burst inward. Dust billows from the now open void.
Overweight Exec
Wh..whose there?
The rock hard body of an shirtless FCC MAN emerges, muscles gleaming from the victory over a thousand Comcast minions.
FCC MAN
Comcast, your DNS Servers may be down, but your game...
The FCC MAN reaches dramatically into his pants and pulls out a document with a visible FCC seal on the cover.
FCC MAN
...is up.
OVERWEIGHT EXEC
No, please, don't kill me, I'll do anything
FCC MAN
Kill you? I'm from the FCC. Here's a document acknowledging that your company has been very naughty. You shouldn't have marketed internet to consumers as being faster than it actually is, and you shouldn't have screwed so many customers because of the complex nature of your delivery format.
FCC MAN turns and begins to walk out.
OVERWEIGHT EXEC
Wait, so you're not going to do your job?
FCC MAN stops.
FCC MAN
What do you mean,
The FCC MAN pulls a pair of sunglasses from seemingly nowhere and cooly slips them on.
I just...did.
Overweight shrugs his shoulders and continues his cash bath.