I solved it after 1.5 weeks of frustration. The Sapphire helpdesk said i should use a 4K specified cable. But various internet sites contradictory argued you don't need an expensive cable "high speed" HDMI is good enough. The helpdesk advised to buy a 4K specified cable or return the card. In an ultimate attempt I tried to set the fps at 12Hz and, miracle, miracle, now I could set the resolution to 4K. Then I gradually increased the fps to max 20 Hz using timing standard CVT. With timing standard CVT-reduced black image it even went to 24 Hz. This works now at my home with "High speed" and even "standard" and 1.3a indicated HMDI cables
It might be that each combination card-cable-monitor has its limmitations depending on the...