BustedSony
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jtunderwood :
Using an ASUS P5W DH DELUXE Intel Motherboard. I have checked compatibility on the Asus web site.
AHHAAA!!! I also have a P5W-DH motherboard and have had the very same trouble, only 3199 Megs (in BIOS) of ram using 4 gigs of Crucial Ballistix. When I switched to OCZ Platinum rev 2 then the full 4 gigs showed up. This is close enough to your situation to show that it IS a problem between your ram and MB. I've been there....
There have been other memory issues with the P5W, when I switched to a P5K then all the memory worked all the time.
I should add, check the memory amount in BIOS during bootup. If it's 3190 there then NOTHING you do in Vista will increase the ram amount.