Special High Intensity Training

[Guest]

Archived from groups: alt.games.diablo (More info?)

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FR: MANAGEMENT
RE: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from
employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our
program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give
employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please
see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T.
list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the
S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE
EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.
S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.
S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they
don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others. We
can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can
apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
--
no, i didn't forget the 'F's
http://www.geocities.com/jerk_o2002
http://www.geocities.com/nameless_mod
-My Diablo 2 Mod
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bunny.php
-My theme song

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: alt.games.diablo (More info?)

WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a
response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you
can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the
fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt
Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious
couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt,
Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parent's objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school drop out.

However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were
living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then
known as
Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son
of
nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt. Two other of the 6 children,Fulla
Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and
subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The
wedding
announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.

By the way, Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the
world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride,
Pisa Schitt!!!

So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can
assure them that you do know Jack.