The most stupid statement contest!

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baldurga

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Feb 14, 2002
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Hi to everybody.

This post is intended to make us smile a little. Probably you have found some guy selling computers in a computer stores that are incredible. How can they manage to know SO little about what they are selling? What kind of test they do to select and hire people?

This one happens to me. I was looking for DDR, CAS 2, brand name, good price, etc. Going for store to store, one guy, before I can explain what I was looking for, try to convince me about the "really good RAM" they have for an Athlon CPU.

Smart guy - "Hey, think that this is DDR, meaning double rate. Imagine you can buy a 256Mb module but because it's DDR, it's double, almost like 512Mb!".

Me - "¿¿¿#???" - I was shocked, my face disfigured.
Smart guy - "Yes, incredible isn't it? It's like buying at half price or having double RAM for the same price, compared to normal RAM"

Me - Thinking "The incredible is that you are STILL working here, my God!" - Saying "Ok, I will think about it. Thank you. Bye"

Then I though how many people would have been "teached" wrong for that guy. Better to laugh than to cry.

DIY: read, buy, test, learn, reward yourself!
 
Next time, punch it in his face by giving him the comp lesson, completly reversing what he knows!!!
IMO it's the only way to show them you do not need their help in a comp store.

--
:smile: Intel and AMD sitting under a tree, P-R-O-C-E-S-S-I-N-G! :smile:
 
I had a friend who worked in a well know british computer store. Anyway he was trying to sell a computer to this couple and the customer asks, can I put my own expansion cards in there, how many free PCI slots?

my friend - I am not sure if PCI slots come as standard?

He then spotted me and ran over to ask, will that computer have PCI slots?

Looking at him as if he should be shot is say - ofcourse there ****ing well is!,

My friend goes back to the customer to tell him his new found knowledge, and the customer says " I will think about it" and walks out looking shocked with the little training they recieve.

When My parents where buying a laptop I would go with them, they would go into the shop and I would talk them through it all, the assistants would come up and say I can see you need no help but would you like to buy something. One time I had an arguement with the sales assistant over the fact the 10GB HDD was not the same as the actually RAM memory in the system, and that nearly no systems in the world have 10GB RAM!!!.

These companies like tiny(UK) and time(UK) really should not be selling computers at all, leave it to the experts. I have a dell laptop, mainly because the people on the other end of the phone knew what I wanted and what they were on about.

Finally....
I worked in a computer rooms at a school and one of the teachers went to pick up some computer parts for the new server. DDR ram etc. What does the company supply DDR ram for an SDR motherboard, they assummed the ram was the same size!
 
Ahh.. I remember when getting my RadeonAIW and there was a Radeon 64Mb DDR, and a Radeon VE, and a SDR there. They told me the Radeon VE would be really really good and if I could afford it a SDR would blow everything away. And i was like... ok... yeah I'll look into that... Then I went home and searched up some reviews (I think that's how I found out about THG) and found that the VE SDR and performed near the GF2MX I had... so I was thinking, good BS you've been giving me eh?

:smile: Falling down stairs saves time :smile:
 
It may not be the most stupid computer salesman quote but it really shocked me when I heard it.

A few months ago, when I was shopping for my current computer, I inquired about 333MHz DDR capable motherboards available, it was a few week before the KT333 was to hit the streets in Montréal.

So I went to the clerk, looking at their price list and I asked him if he knew when such boards and good brand name ( CAS 2 ) memory modules were to be available in his store, He told me that he did'nt knew and asked me "Why do you want it for anyway ?" I stared at him a few seconds, not knowing if he was joking or not, I tried to explain him the performance difference between 266MHz DDR and 333MHz DDR and how a 166 MHZ FSB can help a CPU get more bandwidth if you unlock it to a lower multiplier. This time, he was the one staring at me. He told me that he don't think his store will ever get a motherboard like this and he walked away.

That day, I promised myself to never thrust those guys, no way I let one of them close enough to touch a compupter that I'll be using !

Fok Speling Misstake
 
Several years ago, I was setting up a network at a dentist's office. This dentist insisted on buying his own computers from some other local store to save money on what we would normaly sell.

The computers he got were Mini ATX MoBos with no integrated video. Unfortunately, he needed a minimum of 3 PCI slots to install the hardware he needed for the setup (Network card, and X-ray imaging hardware that took 2 slots).

When we told him about the problem, he said he would talk to the company. When I went there a week later, he had 2 computers in every room. One of the computers was not plugged in. When I asked him, he said that they told him that an extra computer would give him extra PCI slots!

English is phun.
 
I work at a help desk, and I've gotten some fun calls.

1) Someone called convinced that his windows 98 machine was having printer problems. (It was an I-Mac)

2) "What's a floppy disk?"

3) I got a tech support call from someone who had plugged their UPS into itself.

4) "My cup holder won't come out of my computer." (Yes, I have gotten one of these calls)

5) "My computer holder is making strange noises." The computer holder was the actual computer. The person thought that the monitor that was sitting on top of it was the computer.

6)
Customer:"My computer won't power on"
Me: "Can you check in the back and make sure it's pluged in?"
Customer: "I can't see back there, we have a power outage."
(Ok, I got this one from a friend, but I know he got this call)

I've got more I'll post later.

English is phun.
 
3) I got a tech support call from someone who had plugged their UPS into itself
Click to expand...
Gold.

6)
Customer:"My computer won't power on"
Me: "Can you check in the back and make sure it's pluged in?"
Customer: "I can't see back there, we have a power outage."
Click to expand...
Too gold. :lol:

:smile: Falling down stairs saves time :smile:
 
I heard about a power outage one from a guy at dell, he got fired cos he swore at the customer 😛.

I do like the ups plugged into itself, it would be interesting to find out how long it would run like that 😛
 
Given it was never charged, it didn't run very long.

I actualy walked the person through checking to see if it was plugged in, and had to go to their office and check the plug.

English is phun.
 
      :lol:

<i>if you know you don't know, the way could be more easy ...</i>
 
ROFLMAO

<i>if you know you don't know, the way could be more easy ...</i>
 
rofl


<i>if you know you don't know, the way could be more easy ...</i>
 
Back when I was in High school we always had teachers and administrators having problems with thieir cd drives not reading the cds. Everytime it was becasue the cd was in the drive upsidedown. We eventually had to label every computer in the school system with a note of how to put the cd in.

interestingly enough students never had these problems...
 
Ok, here are some more.
I realy wish I was making these up too.

1) A guy gets a credit card stuck in his floppy drive trying to buy something online.

2) CD-Rom stuck in a 5 1/4" Floppy drive

3) "My computer says it can't see my printer, even though I have my monitor facing it!"

4) Someone was using their mouse like a TV Remote.

5) "Is my computer solar powered? It turns off whenever I turn off the light in my room."

6) "How can I check my e-mail without getting on the internet?"

7) "mY KEYBOARD IS BROKE. iT ONLY TYPES IN CAPS UNLESS I HIT THE SHIFT KEY."

I'll probably remember more later.

English is phun.
 
LMAO and ROFL because I got 3 of those, or similar problems, from just one customer, call him Software Designer Joel.

1. Joel, "I can't put any floppies in the drive."

- There was a piece of ruler jammed in the floppy drive. The floppy that was already in the drive was torn to shreds and the drive was warped.

The amazing thing is Joel had forgotten that this happened the previous day and couldn't understand why his floppy disk wouldn't fit, today.

2. Joel, "My computer keeps shutting off".

- The computer was on the same circuit with the light switch and Joel wanted to work in the dark. (I think he is accustomed to being in the dark).

3. "My keyboard is only typing in Caps".

- Obvious! (except to Joel).

I have two more from Software Designer Joel.

Joel liked to bring his own Microsoft Natural keyboard to work. Three times I got a call that his keyboard wasn't working. All three times he had forgotten to swap the keyboard cable. He just moved the other keyboard to make room for his own.

The last story is about Joel but it's not computer related. It does help one understand Joel (if one can).

One night I was working late (configuring laptops I think). I smelled smoke! I ran around the corner to see smoke billowing from the toaster in the kitchenette. I pull the plug and see there are two bagel halves wedged in each of the toaster's slots. I leave everything for the culprit to see.

I go back to work, get busy, and forget all about it.

An hour later, maybe two, more smoke! Again a bagel wedged in the toaster! This time Software Designer Joel enters and asks, "Why does it keep doing that? It (notice he said 'it') burned two bagels today and two yesterday".

I explained how a toaster has a spring mechanism and that it won't work properly if something is wedged in the slots. Joel replies, "That explains why I keep burning bagels at home. I guess I don't need to buy any more toasters".

<b>Are we all shaking our heads now ?</b>

There's a footnote to these stories.

Twice I was called into the manager's office. Each time I was asked why we had been receiving so many similar calls from one customer.

I was acused of not properly fixing the problems or not properly explaining the resolutions to Joel!

Joel was a software designer by profession but was college trained as some sort of mechanical engineer. [It's just too scarry to think about this!]

<b>I have so many cookies I now have a FAT problem!</b>
 
Just do a google search for "tech support calls". Get all kinds of sights with retards doing amazing things to their computers.

<A HREF="http://www.shadowstorm.com/tech_support/mailbag1.htm" target="_new">http://www.shadowstorm.com/tech_support/mailbag1.htm</A>

Benchmarks are like sex, everybody loves doing it, everybody thinks they are good at it.
 
rotfmao........good as this ones....

Guy call me up at work for tech support, I got stuck in there one day.

Guy: Hey I just got my computer and its beautiful, but I have a question.

Me: Ok, what is your question.

Guy: ok, there is a rectangler thing above the power button I think, what is that?

Me: (thinking, WTF is he talking about) Ok sir, give me a little more information about this, describe it better to me.

Guy: Its rectangle, has a slot opening and what looks like a button.

Me: (lightbulb goes on; floppy drive) That is your floppy drive sir.

Guy: Oh thanks a million, wait what's a floppy?

Me: (@#%@$^!#@$%^@$#%!%$^@!#$^) You know disketts? 1.44 meg media? That is where you put them, The disk drive reads them and allows you to get your data.....etc.......

He was very thankful and called back 30 minutes later to talk to another tech and asked the same questions.....


MeldarthX
 
The most recent dumb-as-a-brick-salesperson statement that I've had recently was while recently trying to fix my PC's extreme system instability, I managed to finally find the one label on the power supply (it was pressed up firmly against the top of the case) that listed it as a <b>120 watt</b> power supply. Well gee, no wonder it's unstable after adding a hard drive, a CD ROM, more RAM, a video card, and an extra case fan.

So I call up the company after quickly deducing that the power supply slot in the case happens to be extremely proprietary. (AKA extremely tiny).

The company happily informs me that their 145watt power supply upgrade will fix all of my woes. When I expressed concern over that only being 25 watts more than what I already have, they <i>promised</i> me that it would actually fix my problems.

Yeah, right.

Better, after shipping and handling, they wanted damn near 80 or 90 bucks for it. (Can't remember the exact number anymore...)

So, I told them to hell no. Or go to hell. I can't remember which... In any event, I'm not <i>that</i> stupid. I just have a bad memory. 😉

<font color=blue>And now for something completely different:</font color=blue>

My favorite tech support problem though goes as follows:
Confused Tech: I just can't read the new CD in the new server CD ROM.
Me: Let's have a look.
>> Reaching up to pull the CD out of the drive because the server is damn near over my head on a high up shelf, I pull out not one, not two, but THREE CDs stacked on top of each other in the drive. Appearantly, people just kept dropping them onto the drive that they assumed was empty because they couldn't actually <i>see</i> anything in it. <<
Me: Well, here's your problem.
Confused Tech: Great! Thanks.
>> Two hours later... <<
Confused Tech: I still can't get the new CD drive to work.
Me: Alright, let's look again.
>> I check and this time only one CD is in the drive. Hmm... better. So I pull the server off of the shelf and pop the case open. About five minutes of diagnostic and I find that the CD ROM is set to the same SCSI device number as another CD ROM already in the system. Der! After quickly changing that, I plop the CD in, and violla! <<

So there you go. Just because they're hired as an 'expert' PC technician, doesn't mean that they're in any way skilled. And don't even get me started on the 'computer expert' that I had to install Win3.11 for because she couldn't figure out how to use Win95. I could write a book on her alone...


Tech support said take a screen shot.
Putting it down with my .22 was the humane thing to do.
 
While working as a tech in a computer shop this one lady brought her computer in because it all of a sudden stopped working. Her hard drive was full so she went through the disk erasing all the files she didn't use anymore, which (you probably guessed by now) included all the Windows system files. DER!

Another one, this guy bought a computer from that store like 2 years prior to coming in. It was an old computer that he was now selling to someone else, so he wiped the hard drive and reinstalled Windows 95 to sell it to this new person. It was an old computer with everything integrated, but the terd didn't have the driver disk, so nothing worked, and the guy wouldn't buy it from him until it did. So, the store owner agreed to find and reinstall all the drivers for him at no charge (which became my job), but the guy was a real idiot. He brought the computer in on Friday afternoon, and actually complained that it wouldn't be ready until after the weekend. DER!

Another guy bought a new wireless mouse he needed installed. And, for no reason, he wanted it plugged into the serial port instead of the PS2 mouse port, and wouldn't explain why. It was my job to set it up, and when my boss saw I had it plugged into the serial port, he gave me [-peep-] for it because it was a stupid thing to do, but I'm like "That's what the terd wanted!"

Not the worst, but pretty funny never-the-less.

"Trying is the first step towards failure."
 
Hmmmm.... this just happened about 10 mins ago... I went to return my Radeon 8500LE (which they said I could do when I bought it) and then they didn't want to let me. Instead, they said I should exchange it for a GF2 Ti... I was thinking..... ummm no. But then he came out with a load of BS (this guy is supposed to be the specialist graphics card guy) about how the GF2 Ti was better than the Radeon 8500LE 128MB. He also kept on saying the "CPU" of the video card is at 250MHz and so was the R8500LE, so they would be the same speed. He said it's an awesome card and it would be way better than the R8500 cause
1. it'll be the same speed
2. It'll cost $50CDN less
3. nVidia has amazing driver support. (I agree with this)

But i just said.. no. Then he said I should get a Ti4400 which was like $150 more than the R8500. Then I had to end it by telling them I just wanted my money back. And so they did.

:smile: Falling down stairs saves time :smile:
 
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