The most stupid statement contest!

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Hmmmm..... somehow, I'm gonna have to "aquire" a GF4 Ti4200. I'm not really sure how I'm going to do this, but I'll manage somehow. Now I'm back to my 3300 3D Marks with a Radeon AIW... 😡 Oh well. At least I got $300CDN back.

:smile: Falling down stairs saves time :smile:
 
I understand some users are overly stupid and should not be allowed near anything sharper than a pillow or anything heavier than a feather, for the safety of themselves and that of the public. But, things aren't like that and we do apparently live in a "free" world. So people who use computers aren't required to be trained in using them. I, thus, don't agree with the statement "X doesn't know what that part of the computer does. X is stupid."

However, sales and tech people are supposedly trained in their job and so should know what they're talking about. So, I totally endorse taking the total piss out of them. In the DOS days (Mostly in Dixons as there was one near my school), I used to write a simple bat file on the PC, name it win.bat, put it in c:\windows\ and delete win.com. The results were hilarious.

Nowadays if I go to PC World or something, and someone comes up to me trying to sell me something, I listen with great interest. Let them spend time on me. Then when they think they've convinced me, I usually say "I'm sorry, I'm gonna go now." That usually pisses them off. Which is fun ofcourse.

<b><font color=red>I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.</font color=red></b>
 
But see the thing is what he told me would most likely have conivinced the average person who doesn't even know what RAM does. I mean all the stuff he said were all great and such, but since I know my stuff a bit, I could decide for myself. The scary thing is I think he knew that the GF2 wasn't as good as the R8500LE cause when the other sales person asked him how the MX440 compared, he told me that it didn't have support for DX8 and such and I would not be happy with it. I'm pretty sure he knew the GF2 wasn't up to par, but just wanted to sell me something.

I've always wanted to get a job at a computer store, but I don't think I could bring myself to tell "lies"...

:smile: Falling down stairs saves time :smile:
 
I prefer the:

"Can I help you?"

"No thanks, I prefer to ah heck things up by myself".

<b><font color=blue>~ What do you mean "It isn't working!"...Now where's my sonic screwdriver? ~ </font color=blue></b>
 
ROFL...
i got a good one, unfortunately it comes from my family... my mum to be precise

she was just starting to learn how to use a modern PC with a mouse.
she tried to move the cursor over the screen, but she stopped when she reached the edge of the mousemat and said "help ive run out of room!"

or my sister who admonished me not to stack my CD collection ontop of my HI-FI speaker cauz the magnet would erase them.

commercially the best ive heard was at a big department store with this guy selling compac's.
was trying to convice a family that integraded graphics would be great for games cauz u could allocate more memory to graphics!!!
wow

lololololol



<font color=purple>I am the Motherboard Destroyer!
Hear Me Roar!</font color=purple> <font color=orange>*SQUEAK*</font color=orange>
 
I had a part time job at a computer store once, and these are some of the things that happened...

1. Once a guy called in, said that he couldn't insert a floppy disc into the floppy drive. He said that he needed the computer urgently so he wanted us to send a guy there. So my friend went there, it ended up that there was already a floppy disc in the drive... quickest onsite job he has ever done. The guy got charged for one hour (company policy).

2. There was a guy who bought an Athlon 1Ghz (best at that time), a motherboard, some ram and a case. We said we can set it up for him free of charge, but he insisted to do it on his own. Later the day, he returned and said when he turned on the machine, the psu exploded. After we opened up the case, we were shocked. I had no idea how he did it, but he managed to screw the motherboard onto the metal plate (in the case) without any 'screw holder?' (dunno the exact word, English isn't my first language) between the motherboard and the metal plate. Of course the motherboard was short circuited and hence the huge spark.....

3. You know how those OEM pack Windows have their CD-KEY on a sticker, which are supposed to be sticked somewhere around the case (used to be back and now on the side of the case). Sometimes some customers will complaint that it is hard to read, so we will give them the sicker so they can stick it anywhere they want. There was this guy who decided to put it on the Windows CD (who knows why), and since the sticker is quite thick, the CDROM drive will make weird noise when reading that CD. So he decided to scrape the sticker with a knife (a pretty sharp one I assume).... Well, the sticker was gone, so is that part of the CD (Became transparent).

4. One guy wanted to return a faulty AMD motherboard, cos according to him, the BIOS won't allow him to set the FSB to anything higher than 166 and he WANTED 266....... I wonder what could have happened if we sold him a P4...
 
It's not that I find joy in making fun of users who are computer illiterate... Heck, I deal with them at work all the time. It's finding users who refuse to learn the simplest aspects of a computer, like how a mouse works, how the caps lock button works, and what a CD drive is for.

It's not always their problem, it's often their attitude, which tends to lean on acusitory, blaming the tech for not instantly solving their problem, even if they created it.

Times are changing. I never expect anyone I support to know what version of windows they have, but I know the easy signs of telling, and most know how to right click a mouse.

There are generaly five types of people as far as computers go.

1) People who don't know anything about computers and aren't afraid to admit it.
- These people are easy to support, because they are open to listening to help.

2) People who don't know anything about computers but think they do.
- These are the toughest to support, but unfortunately many people fall into this catagory.

3) People who know some about computers but don't think they know much.
- The easiest to support, as it's easy to get them to walk through things, and they can generaly follow complex directions.

4) People who know some about computers and think they know everything.
- Far to many people fit here, especialy many wannabe "Enthusiests". Usually teenagers and middle aged single men. They are the ones that destroy their computer by tinkering with things beyond what they realy know. ("I deleted all the regestry because it was getting too big and it should rebuild itself with what software I have on my PC now")

5) People who know quite a bit about computers.
-This is usually where your enthusiest fits, as well as most good tech support people (Some fit in the above catagory)

Note: It is posable to fit into 2 or more catagories, depending in hardware and the OS (Windows, Linux, Mac, ect).

English is phun.
 
4) People who know some about computers and think they know everything.
- Far to many people fit here, especialy many wannabe "Enthusiests". Usually teenagers and middle aged single men. They are the ones that destroy their computer by tinkering with things beyond what they realy know. ("I deleted all the regestry because it was getting too big and it should rebuild itself with what software I have on my PC now")
Click to expand...
Hmmm... that sounds like me. Although I never deleted my registry files..... except that one time when I got mad.... 😱

:smile: Falling down stairs saves time :smile:
 
Hey, does #4 include those people who insist on deleting random files from the \Windows\System directory to make things run smoother?

<b>I have so many cookies I now have a FAT problem!</b>
 
Not as bad as me telling a customer "just bring the computer in, I don't need any of the other parts", then they show up with a monitor. I tell them "this is the monitor, not the computer, it doesn't compute anything, what I needed was the BOX that sit's next to it". They say, "Oh, you mean the MODEM" and bring in the computer!

<font color=blue>At least half of all problems are caused by an insufficient power supply!</font color=blue>
 
LOL!

Wow! That would be the biggest modem in the world! With this rationale, a mobo will be as big as a bed!

DIY: read, buy, test, learn, reward yourself!
 
man, you tech guys must be raging alcoholics 😱 i couldn't do it. by now i would have taken myself out and a few with me.

i got the fastest woodburning stove this side of, oh wait, it's just my dual amds
 
I support a big bank. When I come to an executive office and fix there Pc they always say when you coming to my house to work on my pc? Ahhh I don't do any home pc work. They always expect that you run right out to their house and do work for them.

After I got done fixing a user’s pc, she asked me to look at anther problem. She pointed to the copying machine she had and said it keeps getting and error on the display. I said I don't fix copy machines and she seemed kind of miffed. Next, she will want me to fix her pencil sharpener when it breaks, ahhh ya right.

One guy I support keeps asking me to up grade his home pc IBM 200 from Windows 95 to windows 98. He keeps asking me if that would speed up his pc. I tell him no that he would need to up grade the hardware to see and any real improvement. So he asks what about upgrading the CPU. I told him that his motherboard would not be able to support that. I tell he needs to go out and get anther pc. I get this question every 4 or 5 months and this has been going on for 3 years.

Jeff
 
You just get me the bluprint and a few security clearance cards to the big bank of yours, and I'll take care of all the executive staff that are bothering you. deal?

<b><font color=red>I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.</font color=red></b>
 
I think the scariest personal experience I had was at a local computer shop here in Oz...

I had dropped in to ask about a new system. There was a young git, ranting on to a middle-aged man about a certain system. Being too polite to interrupt, I waited and of course, listened.

Git: This system is great! You can play games, edit videos and music, surf the net, with no hassles at all with ths Pentium 4 processor in this baby.

Buyer: Sounds good... edit videos, really?

Git: Yep! It comes with a heap of memory... 128 megs...

I guffawed.

Git (continuing): SDRAM

I choke.

Git (continuing): and using windows XP...

At this time, I groaned. Both Git and Buyer look me, and just wave benignly, pretending I'm coughing. I then add...

Me: And I bet it comes with a great TNT 2 graphics card, huh?

Git: Why yes it does.

This is where I lose it completely, and I turn to leave the store. I overhear the customer say something about "Isn't he rude!" and the Git say quietly "Probably some hot-shot who thinks he knows everything".

Now that was a challenge if I ever heard one.

I got immense satisfaction from telling the Git that for a start, SDRAM with a Pentium-4 was like driving a Ferrari only in first gear, that Windows XP needs a bare minimum of 256 meg of ram, 512 preferential, and for video editing a meg would be the way to go, explained to him the RDRAM and DDR-SDRAM standards, then told him exactly how outdated his graphics "solution" was, the requirement of two Hard-drives for video editing and, no, 20 gig is *not* enough. Customer by now was looking worried, Git was looking pissed, and that was when Git let fly with the corker...

Git: So I suppose you're going to tell me he needs a super-fast *12x* CD ROM as well?

Stunned, I told the cutomer to please leave and take his money to somewhere where they weren't 2 years in the past, and I left... yikes!

-

I plugged my ram into my motherboard, but unplugged it when I smelled cooked mutton.
 
You are forever an idol to meeeee!

This my friend is the one who isn't afraid to stick it up! In his face!

--
:smile: Intel and AMD sitting under a tree, P-R-O-C-E-S-S-I-N-G! :smile:
 
That sounds like most of my customers except they all think the case is the "CPU".

What little hardware repairs I did I usually did on site but when a customer wanted to bring the computer to me I always told him/her, "Bring just the computer, the case, the metal case (this was before plastic cases). Leave the display where it is." They mostly got it right when I used those words. Actually, with few customers I had to explain I need the whole computer, otherwise they would bring me just a laptop carrying case. (OK it only happened once)

<b>I have so many cookies I now have a FAT problem!</b>
 
Well, like someone else said, it was almost too scary to be true, but here was that salesman, in the year 2002 and without a clue... ergh! It may have been an ethnic trait, I'm not saying which group... but, scary! I'm never going to that store again... ever.

-

I plugged my ram into my motherboard, but unplugged it when I smelled cooked mutton.
 
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