US invades Australia ... with free pseudomedical advice

[dogman_1234]

Obviously you've never been on a Marine camp or Army or Air Force base or Naval station . The PX (Post Exchange) is pretty much a department store, hair cuttery, liquor store, etc all rolled into a couple or 3 buildings. At the overseas PX's you can buy generally anything from a new car to gas around 1/3rd of what the local economy charges, depending on the country. Or at least you could 25 years ago..

No...no I have never been. Not much of a military family...

 

[randomizer]

Isn't most of the wildlife in Australia capable of killing a person.

A piece of paper is capable of killing if handled poorly.

 

[Reynod]

Jeez you eastcoasters are a paranoid bunch ... though I can think of a few pieces of paer that could kill those with a heart condition.

"Dear Mr randomizer,

Please book in an appointment with me most urgently to discuss your test results".

Contact our medical receptionist and quote:

AIDS: Pos: randomizer: 21 Sep 2011:e1.


Mind regards,

Doctor reynod.

P.S. You may want to bring along a family member for support".

 

[amdfangirl]

Can I come too?

 

[randomizer]

Aw nuuu!

 

[Reynod]

Dear Mr randomizer,

It is with the deepest of apologies that I wish to inform you that the test results recently posted to you are incorrect. We apologise the the inconvenience that this might have caused.

There was a terruble mixup in Pathology due to a computing error ... that and one of the chimpanzees escaped ... but i digress.

Your paternity test results have come back from the samples presented.

crashman is in fact your father.

We ran the benchmark test 14 times just to be sure ... then we ran them again ... and again ... then we wrote a solid review and posted this !!!

kind regards,

Dr reynod FRACKER

P.S. All claims for malpractice should be sent to ...

 

[amdfangirl]

Meep.

I'm a trilobite.

Rawr.

 

[Wisecracker]

Steady on ... I aim for us to compete with Texas !!

That bar is very low in education ...

They make up for it with their soaring teen pregnancy rate, and "Proportion of Children Under 18 Living Below the Federal Poverty Level"

 

[dogman_1234]

Dear Dr. Reynod,

I seem to develop a mass on my lower abdomen. May I schedule an appointment with you to review my health records and have you take a look at the mass that has developed.

Thank You kindly.

Dogman_1234

P.S. This is funny.

 

[Reynod]

Dear Master Doggy,

I am referring you to my colleague Professor Ry as your problems are well beyond my existential scope of expertise ... therefore requiring his legendary intervention in all things definitive.

If it is as I suspect we may need to consult Dr MouseMonkey (attending surgeon) who among other things specialises in removing foreign particles from the body ... usually associated with motorcycle accidents I might add.

I have looked at the latest CAT scan and can confirm a 2007 Suzuki Moped to be the primary offending article.

Please switch it off for increased comfort prior to, but possibly not limited to, after the event.

Mind regards (with Brawndos),

Dr reynod FRACKER

P.S. The red probe is not to be inserted into the mouth at any time.

 

[dogman_1234]

Dr. Rey,

Thank you for you consultation. Dr. MouseMonkey said the surgery went by well.

Dr. Ry also has reviewed my records and confirmed I need to be exposed to more radon gas to clear the mass in my abdomen.

I have enclosed the check in a letter by mail. I hope it will be enough to pay for all that Aussie Booze you love making so much.

Dogman_1234