Ambular :
There will never be a perfect solution. But I'd say a good compromise would be to make critical security and stability-related patches mandatory, and feature upgrades, drivers, telemetry, and anything else not absolutely essential to the safe and stable operation of the machine, optional.
I am absolutely opposed to automatic forced updates, especially if they require a reboot: I have lost work too many times to reboot popups eating a keypress and locking me out of saving my work before the uncancellable reboot force-closes everything. This is absolutely unacceptable IMO, which is the main reason I have disabled automatic patch downloads on my PC - as long as patches haven't been downloaded, I don't have to worry about reboot prompts.