Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)
Here are some real in-flight announcements that have been heard or
reported: (Well, that's maybe true - maybe not, just passing on what
someone sent to me!).
Martin
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend
from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your
face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask
before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one
small child, pick your favourite."
On landing the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all your
belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's
something we'd like to have."
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a
lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight
XXX to YYY. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the
buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and,
if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in
public unsupervised."
"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and
remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than XYZ Airlines."
"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks are in the overhead
area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before
assisting children...or other adults acting like children."
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant
came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until
Capt. Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching
halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the
warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your
way through the wreckage to the terminal."
Here are some real in-flight announcements that have been heard or
reported: (Well, that's maybe true - maybe not, just passing on what
someone sent to me!).
Martin
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend
from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your
face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask
before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one
small child, pick your favourite."
On landing the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all your
belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's
something we'd like to have."
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a
lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight
XXX to YYY. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the
buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and,
if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in
public unsupervised."
"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and
remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than XYZ Airlines."
"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks are in the overhead
area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before
assisting children...or other adults acting like children."
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant
came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until
Capt. Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching
halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the
warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your
way through the wreckage to the terminal."
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