You're saying there's not a stark difference between say a 7700X and 9800X3D? There are always cases like that, even if it's not the norm.
Now, if someone already had a 7800X3D, I wouldn't necessarily expect them to jump to the 9800X3D, unless it's the type of person who's always after those few extra fps, no matter the price or hassle. That would be extremely niche, I think.
If it seems like I'm arguing both sides of the issue, I guess I am. I think it's a mistake to be completely dismissive of the value in longer-lived sockets, yet I and probably most people wait long enough between upgrades that it doesn't make much sense to keep the same mobo, even if you could.
Basically, I think AMD fans tend to exaggerate the benefits, while Intel fans tend to downplay it too much. How much of a positive it is really depends on a given person's circumstances. If you can't afford the nicest CPU or are eying a tasty CPU in the next gen but need a system now, then I can see not wanting to spend too much on the first CPU and then do an upgrade, later. However, for most people, their circumstances don't change much between one upgrade and the next, in which case they would probably space out their upgrades to the point where socket life is of little or no consequence.