Sound advice.
What you describe here is exactly what I experienced. I got lucky with a 3090 purchase in November... and threw it into my 7700k PC. I saw a framerate increase in 4K ultra MSFS2020... but still a choppy experience overall. I then decided to just build an entirely new PC with the 10900k and the end result was a MUCH smoother framerate in 4K gaming and I couldn't be happier.
The difference between 4 cores and 10 cores is even more obvious in the video encoding that I do. The 7700k would take 2 hours to encode a 2 hour video in Handbrake. The 10900k encodes the same 2 hour video in 30 minutes.
Depends on your budget. I went with the Z490 Unify from MSI for my 10900k. It had great reviews... pretty much the top board in the $300 range... featuring no RGB with a 3rd m.2 slot.
Another thing to consider is Intel or AMD? Intel you can get at retail price in stock... AMD you have much lesser chance of that happening. That was the main reason I went with the 10900k.
Any AMD stock is most likely going to have scalper tax attached which makes it a poor deal.